Two Perspectives

Two Perspectives on Co-Creating a Peaceful, Prosperous Planet

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Internet and social media are bringing us together on a large scale. The spreading of protests (Occupy Wall Street) on an international scale shows that people all over the world are facing similar problems and true globalization is about to begin. The mass media can ignore things at its own peril.

The major challenges in creating a peaceful and prosperous planet are cross border conflicts, languages and cultural differences and limited interaction (to understand and appreciate other perspectives). In my opinion there are four major tools we can use to make the world a beautiful place to live in.

1)      Collaboration at individual and organization levels

People need to collaborate at individual levels using social media and internet. The collaboration between organizations (and countries of course) can also be encouraged. The three major focus areas should be world peace, education and culture (Soka Gakkai International, based in Japan works in these areas).

2)      Wisdom

Understanding the root causes of issues by increasing our wisdom levels will go a long way in creating a peaceful and prosperous world.  Knowledge puts us in the way of wisdom but wisdom is something experiential. Sandra Carey says, “Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.” Japanese have a nice proverb differentiating knowledge and wisdom, “Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books, on the back of an ass.”

Wisdom will help us in understanding the root causes behind international conflicts and eliminating them. It will also help us to respond rather than react to situations. Wisdom will also discourage the abuse of power.

3)      Compassion

Developing empathy and trying to understand another person’s (or race) perspective is very critical. According to the Latin roots of the word, compassion means co-suffering, suffering with others, feeling the pain of others as if it was your pain. As the saying goes, “Kindness gives to other. Compassion knows no other.” Empathetic Listening is very critical to develop compassion. Also, if you put yourself in another person’s shoes, you will be able to understand their problems better and may be able to help by suggesting solutions.

Compassion will make rich countries (and their people) more generous towards their poorer counterparts. A genuine effort will be made to uplift and the approach with focus on hard negotiations will change to a more win-win approach.

4)      Courage

People need to gather courage to stand up against injustice and vested interests that divide and create rift. Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines courage as, “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. It also implies firmness of mind or will.” Letting go of fear contributes to our sanity and expands our consciousness as fear tends to hold us back, distorts our perceptions and reduces our faith.

Some politicians may have a tendency to divide people due to vested interests. People need to stand up against such efforts and discourage any actions which create further divides in society.

Conclusion

With these four simple tools, I am sure we will be on our way to co-create a peaceful and prosperous planet. The journey would be long and challenging but it is a much needed journey.

The destination will be a peaceful and prosperous planet where we shall feel blessed to be living.

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Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To learn more about him, click here: http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

Copyright © 2011 – Dr Amit Nagpal. All rights reserved

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Patriarchal systems are breaking down. Top down Communism no longer works. Top down democracy, bought by top down corporations, no longer works. Monarchies and dictatorships are being challenged and overthrown.

Women are waking up and starting to think for themselves. Women are no longer willing to accept the roles into which men have placed them: sex object, subservient wife, mother, cook, housekeeper, babysitter. Women are no longer willing to sit idly by and watch their husbands and sons be slaughtered by other women’s husbands and sons.

As women take back their power, men are waking up, too. They are beginning to respect the awesome female collaborative and cooperative power that can lead our entire planet away from war and violence and into global peace and abundance.

Throughout the world, men and women are aligning to bring about reform. Occupy Wall Street has spread throughout the world, as the 99% challenge the 1% whose decisions have led us to the brink of destruction.

Together, we have allowed the major news media to shape our minds, thoughts and emotions. People are tired of a steady stream of violence, verbal abuse, and news about what’s wrong with the world. Good news media are springing up everywhere to replace the naysayers and spread good news about what is working. People everywhere are seeking a return to sanity, both in their personal worlds and their collective worlds. They are starting to think for themselves so they can release their fear and depression and start taking positive action to turn themselves and our world around.

There are two concepts that can help us understand what’s happening so that together, we can consciously co-create a world that works for all of us. One is holons. The other is Teilhard de Chardin’s Noosphere.

The first concept, that of a holon, can be represented by the image above. If energy is inherent within each circle, and each circle is its own complete system (whether an atom, a cell, a heart, a human being, a planet, etc.), we have a holarchy or perhaps pure democracy or pure communism. Alternatively, we have undivided wholeness, with power and creativity flowing in all directions, top down, bottom up, and all around. Each circle/system is connected to and nestled within other more encompassing circles/systems and all are involved in an energetic exchange that affects each and every part. The challenge is to align them and bring them into harmony and balance. For the past 2,000 years, this was done through patriarchy. How interesting that this image can also be viewed as a hierarchy when the underlying energy is flowing only from the top down.

The second concept is the Noosphere or Teihard de Chardin’s thinking layer of earth. If each miniscule part of a holon is complete in itself and yet connected to all other holons, then each is connected to every other holon at a thinking level beyond itself. The Noosphere might also be referred to as the Akashic Records or the Field.

If we use our words, not to judge and condemn, but simply to share information, there is no right or wrong. There are only creative perspectives. Some perspectives work better than others. Some perspectives are more encompassing and inclusive than others. No perspective is any more encompassing and inclusive than the perspective that everything is perspective.

The perspective that everything is perspective is freeing. The way we see the world is okay. It is also terrifying and humbling. The way others see the world is also okay. If we believe that everything is perspective, we have to listen to and respect others as well as ourselves. We also need to be very aware, conscious, and accountable for all our actions.

There’s a fine line between chaos and heaven on earth. That line is non-violence and awareness. It’s a choice – for each and every one of us.

If you want to be a conscious part of co-creating a planet that works for all, you can get more information or get actively involved here: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/2012e/WSP/

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Stereotyping

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

In the increasingly assertive society we live in, it becomes important to choose our words carefully, especially when we stereotype. If I talk of Indian society, we are jam-packed with stereotypes, which are slowly being broken by the pioneers with lots of difficulties and opposition. A woman should be doing X, a lower caste person should do Y; all Punjabis are like this and so on. But unfortunately the same people who get irritated with one stereotype, they believe and talk of other stereotypes.

When women act in a feminist way (getting over-assertive at times), I understand the pain which is behind it and the stereotypes that create that anguish. And on top of that we strongly stereotype, “All North-Indians are like that, all South Indians are like that, all small town people are like that”; in fact the painful list is never ending. I have always requested people to at least replace ‘all people’ with ‘most of the people’. Personally I have been a victim of stereotyping myself, as I do not fit into the traditional definition of Indian male nor do I want to. The metro sexual man who does baby-sitting, who is sensitive rather than macho, who may want romance as part of sex, such a man is still emerging in the Indian society, slowly being recognized by the media at least in metro cities.

Even in the western society where women are now more or less treated as equals, we have books coming, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. If a man has come from Venus to earth, what does he do? If one does not belong to the stereotype, one may feel like a washerman’s dog, who belongs nowhere because a washerman needs a donkey and not dogs. (My due sympathies to all the dogs of the washermen).

Yes stereotypes help us in quick decision making, yes stereotypes still exist practically and cannot be eliminated altogether, but can’t we be a little more sensitive in our language and behavior, so that the people who do not belong to the defined stereotype don’t suffer or end up protesting  (sometimes ending up using violence to avenge years of suppression)? Another simple way is to define qualities rather than people. (It may have its own complications though.) For example each human being is made up of masculine and feminine qualities. Once I jokingly wrote on Facebook, “There are four genders in the society today, male, female, and masculine female and feminine male, so let us not stereotype” In fact it may be difficult to define masculine female because the degree of masculinity may have huge variance.

In a way stereotyping is injustice but then injustice is a part and parcel of our society. It is also the law that when the frustration level due to injustice reaches its peak, it results in violence and revolutions. Sadly, when it comes to stereotyping, the humanity (or should I say most of the humanity rather) needs sensitivity training.

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Of course we can’t completely avoid stereotyping, unless we want to stop talking completely. Words automatically create stereotypes: black versus white, tall versus short, fat versus thin. Words automatically divide and classify our sensory data. Words automatically simplify so we can understand and communicate.

But let’s look for a minute at:

1. The intention behind creating a stereotype
2. The emotional content we give it.
3. The experiential context of the stereotype

If you are in Tampa and ask for directions to Sarasota, your intention is to go from Tampa to Sarasota. Perhaps Paul tells you to drive 60 miles south on I-75 until you see a tall, fat, black post on the left side of the road. Paul is aligned with helping you fulfill your intention. The words, tall, fat and black have no emotional content. The experiential context is giving and receiving information in order to achieve a mutually desired result.

On the other hand, if a murder has been committed in Tampa and the police are looking for a tall, fat, black man because that is the description witnesses have given them, the intention is to catch and restrain a violent man so he doesn’t continue to act out his anger. The experiential context is safety for all members of the community. The emotional content is huge, and it is different for each person involved.

For the victim’s family, it is grief and rage. For the murderer, perhaps it is guilt and fear. For any innocent tall, fat, black man stopped and questioned by the police, it may be frustration, anger, and feelings of victimization and unfair treatment. For the policemen, the intention may simply be to do their job and create a safe community. On the other hand, for some of them, the intention may be cloaked in unconscious anger, vindictiveness, and stereotyping of all tall, fat, black men as bad.

It’s when we separate human from human and project hate, judgment, blame, rage, and vindictiveness out into the world against our fellow man that stereotyping becomes a problem. When our aligned intention is to communicate and collaborate to co-create non-violent communities, there is no negative emotional content, the experiential context is informational, and stereotyping is simply not an issue.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Silence

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

“The bell of mindfulness is the voice of the Buddha calling us back to ourselves. We have to respect each sound of the bell, stop our THINKING AND TALKING and get in touch with ourselves, breathing and smiling. This is not the Buddha from the outside. It is our own Buddha calling us home.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Bell at Buddhist Shrine, Oahu, Hawaii

Silence. I decided to go myself into silence before I wrote the post. Few minutes of silence and I started to look at silence from a completely new perspective. Why do we equate silence only with verbal silence? Silence can be mental silence, emotional silence and spiritual silence. In fact, in my opinion verbal silence gives peace, mental silence gives joy and spiritual silence gives perfect bliss. Verbal silence gives us an opportunity to do self-reflection and develop deeper understanding of things. Mental silence provides us relaxation and clarity of thought. Emotional silence provides us equanimity and equilibrium. Spiritual silence provides us bliss and enlightenment.

Creative solutions come up in the moments of silence. Silence can even boost our self-esteem and confidence by making us the springs of ideas, solutions and divine inspirations. It is a sad contradiction of human society that we have invented powerful silencers for our vehicles yet our minds are making disturbing and never ending chatter.

If silence is so beautiful, why is the society so afraid of it? Often when we see a silent person, we ask her/him, if anything is disturbing her/him. In the well known book, “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom, the teacher (Morrie) observes fifteen minutes of silence in the class and finds that silence is embarrassing and we find comfort in noise.” Is it true that the more insecure we feel, the more we talk and the more secure we become, we get more and more silent? (Dear Readers, please post your views)

Tony Cuckson, Irish author says, “Human BEings have become human DOings. It is the rhythm, Do, Be, Do, Be.” There is a nice romantic Hindi song, “Kucch na kaho” which roughly translated means, “Don’t say anything, and in fact don’t speak at all. What is there to speak? What is there to hear? You know and I know. The moment has also come to a standstill.” So get into silence for a few minutes and you can romance not only with your beloved but with nature and the divine too.

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Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To know more about him, click here: http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

Copyright © 2011 – Dr Amit Nagpal. All rights reserved

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Piercing the Veil of Word Illusions and Creating Our Own Reality

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Words do not matter. The meanings do. Words are understood in the context in which they are spoken, the tone which is used, the cultural interpretation added, and bias for/against the individual. With all these factors mixed, our personalized meaning of the words is ready. Words are actually a cocktail.

Two words which have always fascinated me are ‘exploitation’ and ‘love’. While the dictionary says exploitation of resources is positive and should be done, the same dictionary says that exploitation of labor is negative and should not be done. Is labor not a resource?

Love is such a glorified word since the languages began that I am scared of using it even in close relationships. Is humanity not basically selfish and incapable of love, the idealized love, we always talk about? I prefer to use the word ‘care’; it does not create unrealistic expectations. The background which the word ‘love’ carries makes me feel that only a spiritually advanced person has the capacity to love. Ordinary mortals like me don’t. What ordinary mortals do is only an exchange of emotional energy, a business. Maybe when you develop the capacity to truly love, you cannot restrict it to family and close relationships. You will be in love with everything around. You will become a Rumi, a Kabir or a Mother Teresa.

Do words wear the veil of illusions or do we human beings add the veils to them? Words only convey approximate meanings. No wonder lawyers have to work so hard at them. After the lawyer has worked for long hours on refining the language, the opposing lawyer finds a loophole to give a totally different meaning to the same words.

Under such a background, do words matter? To me, they don’t. To me what matters is the meaning hidden behind them, the intentions, the feelings, the emotions, the tones and overtones, the vibrations that they carry. To me what matters is the non-verbal part, the honesty which you can see only in the eyes, the genuineness which you can feel only in the smile, the coldness or warmth which you feel in the vibes that they carry, the underpinnings and overtones which tell more about the sincerity than the words themselves.

The more we clear ourselves of negative energy, the more sensitive we become to the subtleties behind the words.  We develop maybe a seventh sense of reading the intentions, listening to the unspoken messages, smelling the vibrations, tasting the warmth or the coldness behind and feeling the touch of the soul (or soullessness) of the entire communication.

Then only can we create our own reality integrating the words with the environment and comprehending the essence of not just the words but the integrated communication.

If my words do not make any sense to you, please sense what is between the lines, between the words, between the alphabets…..

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is, “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To know more about him, click here: http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

Copyright © 2011 – Dr Amit Nagpal. All rights reserved

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

A Co-Creation Allegory

Imagine you are part of a beautiful moving picture. The picture flows. The story line flows. One scene moves flawlessly into another, and you move with it. You are totally immersed in the flow.

Then suddenly, you bump into a rock or tree or mountain and experience pain. You bump into a monster and experience fear. Your mind wants to understand the pain and fear because you want to control it and stop it. Your mind moves outside the flow and becomes an observer. Your mind has now divided what was once just flow into:

• Flow, and
• You as observer of the flow.

You have eaten of the Tree of Knowledge and been cast out of the Garden of Eden. Your mind has stopped the moving picture at a single frame so you can analyze it, dissect it, understand it, and control it.

Science does this very well. So does orthodox religion. However, each of these is only a single limited understanding within the confines of the single frame they have stopped.

Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

If everything is a dynamic flow of energy, then each one of us is a minuscule part of that energy, all flowing and connected. Rocks are energy. Trees are energy. Cockroaches are energy. Words are energy.

Our minds can artificially stop the flow to try to understand and control it, but all our minds can truly understand is that one single frame on which we are focusing at a particular moment in time. This is understanding of a sort, but it is only partial understanding. Depending on where we stop the moving film and which frame we look at, the perception, dissection and analysis differ. When our minds hold onto any one single frame, any one set of words or symbols as Truth, we remain divided and separated from the energetic flow. When we allow the energy to flow through us, we tune into all that is and become magnificent co-creators of something much larger than any one of us individually.

To know is to know that we don’t know. We can only co-create.

When we shift our beliefs that words say something about an external reality to beliefs that words, for sure, say something about our perceptions of an external reality, we can choose to shift our perceptions to something that works better for both us and everything around us. We all then return to the dynamic energy flow of the Garden of Eden as conscious co-creators.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Assertiveness

Two Perspectives is a monthly column with two different perspectives on the same topic from two different continents, cultures, and genders, viz., from

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

First let us understand what assertiveness is after all. We can respond to situations and people in three ways viz. submissive, assertive and aggressive. When we are too gentle (or under-react), it is submissive behavior, when we are too loud/violent (or over-react), it is aggressive behavior and when we have a measured response (the right degree), it is assertive behavior.

The first question which comes to our mind is why we need to assert. Well we need to assert to defend our rights or to claim which is rightfully ours. As human beings we will very often under-react or over-react unless we are conscious and careful to give measured assertive responses. When we are submissive, we will be treated as doormats and our rights may be trampled upon. When we are aggressive, we will make people defensive or irritate them and create an undesirable reputation.

The second question is when we need to assert. We need to assert whenever we face situations or people with whom we need to demand our material rights, space in relationships, individual freedom, legal rights or simply to remind people of their duties. We need to assert in every relationship, be it family, workplace, society, friends, and government and so on. In fact, sometimes with the customers also, who start behaving like dictators rather than kings.

Now the most important question is how we assert. If you are a gentle soul, how can you practice asserting for what is rightfully yours. Here are some exercises you can use.

An assertive person asks, demands, insists and does not expect to get things without asking. Use ‘I’ rather than ‘We’ to show that you are in command.

Whenever you face criticism you don’t agree with, tell the person with conviction that you don’t agree with his views.

Positive self-talk (talking to one self about one’s achievements, past successes etc) can boost one’s confidence and body language resulting in more assertive behaviour.

Practice saying ‘No’ with firmness. Offer an explanation, if necessary but keep it short (to avoid getting defensive).

Just keep in mind that if you don’t learn to assert in life, you may have a feeling of being insecure and a fear that everyone is out to make a fool of you. You may also behave like a cry baby expecting people to understand you and feel bad when you don’t get things you deserve. Once I wrote on Facebook, “Even a mother feeds the baby when the baby cries. Even God comes to your rescue when you remember and remind him. Do not suffer in silence and learn to assert in life.”

Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is, “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To know more about him, click here

http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

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Janet Smith Warfield Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Assertiveness, yes. Aggressiveness, no. What is the difference?

Assertiveness is absolutely vital if we want to get our needs met. To be assertive means to express one’s needs to those who may be able to help with no attachment to the results.

Aggressiveness destroys relationships. To be aggressive means to pressure or manipulate someone else into doing what we want them to do, whether they want to or not.

Recently, I purchased a bag of manure at Wal-Mart. It was heavy – more than I could easily lift alone.

I asked one of the Wal-Mart employees if he could help. He said, “Sure. Just drive your car over here to the entrance and I’ll put it in the trunk for you.”

I went to my car and drove to the entrance. The employee had suddenly disappeared. My car was parked in a “No Parking” zone. I sure as heck didn’t want to lift that bag of manure by myself.

Twenty years before, I would either have lifted the bag of manure myself and thrown my back out or stewed and fumed and started thinking evil thoughts about the Wal-Mart employee who had promised to help and then disappeared. Twenty years later, with more maturity, I was willing to be assertive, ask for help, and get a different result.

Two young men, clearly customers, approached the entrance. Both were total strangers. I had never met either of them before in my life.

“Excuse me,” I said to the one with the biggest muscles, arms covered with tattoos. “Would you be able to lift this bag of manure into the trunk of my car for me?”

He pulled back, surprised, but then said “sure,” easily picking it up and depositing it in the trunk of my car.

“Thank you very much.”

“No problem,” he smiled. I could tell he felt good about himself.

By being assertive and asking for help, I avoided the aching back, anger and judgment I would otherwise have experienced. It was a triple win. The Wal-Mart employee won because his supervisor didn’t receive a complaint. The young man won because he’d been able to demonstrate his strength and kindness. I won because I didn’t have to lift the bag of manure.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com and www.janetsmithwarfield.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved. You have permission to copy and use any part or all of this blog provided you retain all credit and copyright information.

Two Perspectives on Fear of Criticism

Two Perspectives is a new monthly column with two different perspectives on the same topic from two different continents, cultures, and genders, viz., from

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Life offers us two choices, viz., to be secure, anonymous and uncriticized or to take chance at innovation and uniqueness and risk criticism.

There is a famous saying, “I don’t know the road to success but I know the road to failure – trying to please everybody.” Do you like to avoid criticism and try to please everybody? One thing is guaranteed then that you are going to remain the Average Joe or you will belong to the trio of Tom, Dick and Harry, for all great ideas have been initially ridiculed, slowly accepted and finally appreciated as being obvious.

Man is a social animal of course and wants the acceptance of friends, relatives and society. But at what cost do we get the acceptance is an important question, if it comes by killing our very soul, I am doubtful, if it is worth it.

The society tends to criticize anyone who chooses an unusual path and refuses to follow the herd mentality. Sometimes there are genuine reasons and fears behind social criticism for e.g. leaving a secure job and starting your own business. If you have a family to support, the social criticism in some ways is justified as the entire family may have to suffer your decisions. But what if you don’t start the business, kill your soul and become a frustrated person, slowly killing yourself and family members with your negativity?

In management theory, we have something called contingency approach which basically says that every situation is unique and there are no standard answers to problems. The same is true for life, there are no standard solutions. The inner voice generally gives us the best answers (and aided by meditation, it can give us the most wise answers) and we must listen to it. In Hindi there is a saying, “Suno sabki, karo apni” which means we must listen to everyone’s advice but take our own decisions. We know our situation the best, don’t we? Of course the family members’ concerns need to be kept into account while making the critical choices in life.

Due to our fear of criticism, we tend to hide to avoid criticism and thus guarantee failure in our life. We tend to forget that the criticism is of the ideas/ventures and not us. So why care too much? All the greatest people in the world have had their share of flops but they persisted and did not get bowed down by criticism. Edison went to the extent of saying that he did not fail; he only discovered 1000 things which did not work. That’s the spirit of great people, that’s what distinguishes the average from the remarkable.

Seth Godin says, “Nobody says ‘Yeah, I would like to set myself up for some serious criticism.’ And yet the only way to be remarkable is to do just that.” So do you still fear criticism, no problem, just mentally prepare yourself to live an average life. Don’t mind my blunt approach as the writing on the wall says “Brutally Honest, Ruthlessly Frank” Take it or leave it for that’s what I am.

“When you are the first person, whose beliefs are different from what everyone else believes, you are basically saying, “I am right and everyone else is wrong.” That’s a very unpleasant position to be in. It’s at once exhilarating and at the same time an invitation to be attacked.

Larry Ellison, CEO, Oracle Corporation

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To know more about Dr Amit Nagpal go to:

http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.htm _____________________________________________________________________________________

Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

When I am afraid of criticism, who is the critic: the person out there or the person in here?

When I was fifteen, I overheard a classmate call me “queer.” It felt like a knife through my heart.

I could only think that there must be something dreadfully wrong with me. I was different. Boys rarely asked me out. I wasn’t part of the clique. I liked school and wanted to learn. I got good grades. My parents adored me and my teachers praised me as one of their better students.

Many of my classmates had abusive parents, hated school, hated homework, cracked jokes, gossiped, clowned, dated, and got drunk. Yes, maybe I was queer.

Unconsciously, I absorbed that “queer” label with all its pain and negative connotations. For years, the belief crippled me. My hands shook. I had knots in my stomach. I hid my talents and abilities for fear of offending others. I was afraid to reach out and build friendships. I thought of committing suicide.

I had allowed one foolish little word, spoken by another without thought or conscious intention, to destroy my spirit. I was terrified to be who I was because others might not like me.

I wanted to please others, but I soon noticed that not all people were pleased by the same things. I had a small group of friends who loved to learn. We were the minority, both envied and despised by our classmates. Who was I supposed to please: My friends? Other students? My parents? My teachers? Who was right? Who was wrong? I lived in a hell of confusion, chaos and conflicting doctrines.

Many years later, I began focusing on my own personal growth and what I wanted to do with my life. I attended a workshop where one of the exercises was breaking a board with my hand. The purpose was not an idle exercise in physical strength. The purpose was to overcome fear.

On the near side of the board, we wrote what we were afraid of. On the far side of the board, we wrote what we would have or be if we overcame our fear. On the near side I wrote, “Fear of losing my relationship with my sons if I pursue my vision and purpose.” On the far side, I wrote, “I am going to pursue my vision and purpose and I’m bringing my sons with me into full human potential.”

As I took my stance to break the board, the instructors told us to focus on the far side of the board: what we would have or be if we overcame our fear. My long years of listening to my teachers stood me in good stead. I focused on pursuing my vision and purpose and bringing my sons with me into full human potential. The board snapped. Students who focused on their fears didn’t break the board.

I have been criticized and verbally abused many times. I know now that critical, verbally abusive, judgmental, angry words say nothing about me. They say volumes about the speaker. His energy is blocked. She is powerless and ineffective. How can I feel anything but compassion and forgiveness? That does not mean I must remain in this destructive energy.

I still have moments of fear and contraction when I hear someone’s angry, judgmental words. Now, however, I know how to release the fear so I can function again. All it takes is a simple shift in focus from an outside authority to my own inner authority. For me, that inner authority must be aligned with a Higher Power I have chosen to believe in. My mind can neither understand nor explain it. My experience tells me the belief makes a difference in what I can accomplish.

Is it selfish, arrogant, narcissistic, insane to trust my own inner authority? There go those critical words again, spinning around in my brain.

No! I choose to believe that relying on that inner authority is as sane as any of us is ever going to get. I intend to keep breaking the board of my self-imposed limitations and focusing on the vision beyond.

When I notice an energetic shift in my body into fear and contraction, I simply detach from the speaker’s words, whether that speaker is me or someone else. Then I notice where my mind is. (This is sometimes called the Witness.) I can promise you my mind is either in the future or on what someone else may think, say or do. When I notice where my mind is, I make a conscious choice to bring it back to the present moment. Perhaps I’m in my own living room, my office, or my car. I’m safe there. It’s only my mind that is off on sabbatical, terrorizing me with its fantasies of future catastrophes.

Once I consciously bring my mind back to the present moment, I simply ask, “What is your next step? What can you do right here, right now, to move your vision forward?” Then I do it!

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to

www.janetsmithwarfield.com

www.wordsculpturespublishing.com

www.wordsculptures.com

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.