Two Perspectives

Two Perspectives on Loyalty

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

The “L” alphabet probably has the most difficult and confusing terms. Love and loyalty are two of them. It is easier to be an opportunist than to be loyal. But loyalty pays you in the long run. It inspires trust, it creates a reputation and it contributes to your personal brand.

Some people even say love and loyalty are the same. So what is the meaning of loyalty? What is the definition of loyalty?

What loyalty means to me

When I say, my friend is loyal to me, it generally means;-

• He considers my enemies as his enemies.
• He will not backbite against me.
• He will protest or argue or defend if someone criticizes me.
• He will be a friend in need.
• He will not publicly complain, even if he has a grudge against me and rather discuss privately.
• He will stand by my side, even if my parents criticize me and will share his opinion with me in private and try to be non-judgmental and yet give me friendly advice or tell me if I am wrong.

Loyalty – another misused word

Should we commit violence and murder in the name of loyalty? Some people cut their fingers in India when their political leaders lose the elections. Is this loyalty? Does being loyal mean emotionally overwhelmed and unstable?

If a man commits murder to loot a person to save his ailing mother, is it loyalty? Many Hindi (Indian) films have similar dilemmas. Were those Indians who were loyal to the British Empire traitors to the nation? I am leaving for the readers to decide. Nothing is right or wrong. Our inner voice knows what is wrong and right in that particular situation.

How do we learn loyalty?

I think we learn loyalty mainly from our parents and their behavior. Of course, perceptions and behavior relating to loyalty among friends, relatives, siblings and teachers also influence us. It is also possible you may be influenced more by your grandparent than your parent and he/she being your role model becomes the role model for loyalty too.

Clash of loyalties

A woman should be more loyal to husband or parents? The question is as difficult to answer as whether an Indian NRI in USA should be more loyal to India or to United States. My personal opinion is to be equally loyal, for the native country, you have emotional loyalty and for the country of residence, you need to have logical loyalty (it is feeding you and in India we say, you have to be loyal to the salt). Over a period of time if the husband is very caring or the country of residence gives you a very caring environment, you will develop emotional loyalty to husband or the country of residence.

True loyalty

The most difficult loyalty is the loyalty to truth or God. It is easier to be loyal to human relationships but difficult to stay loyal to the right, to the truth or to the conscience.

Our inner voice also wants us to be loyal to truth. But it is easier said than done.

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” He writes a Blog, “The Joys of Teaching”

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Encarta Dictionary defines loyalty as “a feeling of devotion, duty, or attachment to somebody or something.” But who is that “somebody” or “something” to which we feel devotion, duty or attachment? And to what extent should we carry out that devotion, duty and attachment? And what do we do when we experience a conflict of loyalties? These are not easy questions.

As children, we are very attached to our parents, regardless of whether they are loving or abusive. We have little choice, because we depend on them for our food, clothing, and shelter.

As we grow, we begin to make friends. Why do we choose some over others? Isn’t it because we meet each others’ needs and we feel comfortable in each others’ presence? Here there is a reciprocity of loyalty.

As we reach adulthood, we begin to look for a mate. How do we decide who is worthy of our loyalty for a lifetime commitment? If we choose well, we marry someone who is kind, loving, sensitive, strong, compassionate, and communicative – someone with whom we can build a true marriage of values. If we make a mistake, we choose someone who has affairs, doesn’t carry his or her share of responsibilities, and isn’t there for our children.

And how do we handle a conflict of loyalties? Our parents want us to study medicine and become a doctor. Our spouse wants us to study law. Our heart tells us our happiness lies with art.

We don’t always know when we first meet a new person how loyal and trustworthy he or she will be. It is only when we feel betrayed that we realize we chose to place our loyalty with someone who didn’t deserve it. Do we stay with this person for the sake of loyalty, or do we leave a relationship where loyalty is not mutual?

What about loyalty to our country? A young man is drafted to fight for his country and trained to kill other young men. In some countries, his only choice is to kill or be killed. Is this the proper place to put his loyalty? Or should he become a conscientious objector? Becoming a conscientious objector may be a far more courageous choice than being loyal to a dictator.

William E. Gladstone wrote, “… in freedom you lay the firmest foundations both of loyalty and order.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Trust your instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.”

Perhaps our first loyalty should be to ourselves and whatever God or Higher Power or Universal Energy we believe in. Be true to yourself and you will be loyal to those people and causes that have earned your loyalty.

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. To learn more, see www.wordsculptures.com, www.wordsculpturespublishing.com, www.janetsmithwarfield.com

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Two Perspectives on The Subconscious – Tapping Its Enormous Power

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Before we learn to tap the enormous power of the sub-conscious, we need to first understand what is the difference between conscious and sub-conscious mind.

Conscious Mind

Many of us wonder if everyone is appreciative of the sub-conscious mind and critical of conscious mind, why did God create the conscious mind in the first place. Is the conscious mind obsolete?

Conscious mind is needed by human beings but it should be treated like a servant. Since most of the population does not know how to activate and utilize the enormous power of sub-conscious, the conscious mind runs the show. No wonder Albert Einstein said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Sri Aurobindo, the Indian sage, said that just as the monkey’s tail disappeared during the evolution of the human being because it was no longer required, similarly the conscious mind will disappear as human beings evolve.

Sub-conscious Mind

Subconscious mind gives us wisdom and intuition and is activated mainly by three activities viz. deep relaxation, meditation and mental imagery/visualization. It also tends to get active during deep sleep (no wonder many people say sleep over your problem and you will wake up with the answer) but deep sleep is out of our control (we often forget the dreams) and whether we will have sound/deep sleep or not is often beyond the control of an average person.

Unconscious Mind

There is a difference of opinion between scientists here. Some believe mind only has two parts conscious and unconscious (call it sub-conscious if you wish) while others believe that mind has three parts viz. conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious. I believe in the latter school of thought and I believe conscious is often negative, sub-conscious is generally wise/positive and unconscious has all the repressed memories (both positive and negative). So what comes out during past regression therapy and hypnotherapy are the memories stored in the unconscious mind.

A Final Word

Silence the conscious mind and the sub-conscious will get activated. The conscious can be silenced through Sufi dances, meditation and whole lot of concentration exercises and contemplative practices.

Sub-conscious makes us wise, intuitive and highly creative. But to tap its enormous power requires enormous hard work. We tend to be so busy in our mechanical-routine lives, we hardly have time even to think on these lines. And we keep postponing whatever can be postponed until we reach a crisis.

Abba Eban said, “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” Will we start tapping our sub-conscious only when we have exhausted all other alternatives and made a complete fool of ourselves?

The choice is ours.

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” He writes a Blog, “The Joys of Teaching”

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

What do we mean when we talk about the subconscious? How can we tap into its power to enhance our effectiveness?

Our subconscious and conscious minds are like an iceberg. The conscious mind is the tip we can see. It is that small part of awareness that is above the surface, the part on which we are currently focused, the part that is obvious, right here, right now, to our five senses. The subconscious mind lies below the surface. It is an enormous source of untapped resources we don’t normally see. What we don’t see, we can’t use to support our lives, our communities, and our world. When we tap into our subconscious and bring its energetic power to the surface, we mine its abundance and use its resources to enhance both our own lives and the lives of all around us. We tap into the depths to experience the light.

There are parts of our subconscious we don’t want to see because they hurt too much or are too frightening. We don’t want to look at our fear until we develop phobias. We don’t want to look at our pain and rage until we’ve experienced deep betrayal and loss. We don’t want to look at our guilt until we’re ready to say, “I’m sorry” and change our conduct. We don’t want to look at our self-righteousness until we are willing and able to walk in another’s shoes.

I’d like to invite you to a mutual mind-mapping game with the intention of engaging both you and me in tapping into the power of our individual subconscious minds. Then we can shape the energy we discover and transform it into powerful tools for transforming our lives.

I’m going to put my thoughts “out there”. As you read my thoughts, just notice your own thoughts and emotions. Your mind may be saying, “Oh, that’s neat. I hadn’t thought of that before.” Or your mind may be saying, “Is she nuts? That doesn’t make sense at all.”  What your mind says doesn’t matter. Just notice where your mind and emotions are taking you when you read my words. Notice whether you are feeling an attraction, a resistance, or no emotional charge at all.

What you feel doesn’t matter. Just notice the energy of that feeling. You are observing your subconscious by using Witness mode – the detached portion of yourself looking at the mentally and emotionally involved part of yourself. Then begin your own mind mapping process, starting with what you notice about your own thoughts and emotions. Are you focused on the meanings of my words? Are you feeling attraction? Curiosity? Resistance? Play? Fear? Write down whatever flows through your mind – without censorship.

The “without censorship” is vital. That is how you bypass the conditioned thinking of the conscious mind – the mind you’ve been taught is all that is; the mind you’ve been taught is right, the mind that wears dark glasses so it doesn’t have to look at things it doesn’t want to see below the tip of the iceberg, beneath the surface of consciousness.

If and when you and I become willing to explore the unending depths of our own subconscious, we discover a never-ending, fertile, playground for exploration, discovery, creativity, and self-empowerment. Sometimes our subconscious takes us on joyous rides of ecstasy. Other times it takes us into deep, dark caverns of terror, rage, and guilt. Like St. John of the Cross, our subconscious offers us spiritual opportunities to come face to face with our own dark night of the soul, master our emotions, integrate our spiritual gifts of deepening understanding and clarity, and shift into fuller awareness, consciousness, power, and peace. The change in our own energy is the enormous power that indirectly changes the lives of those around us. This is the space where synchronicities abound and miracles happen.

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. To learn more, see www.wordsculptures.com, www.wordsculpturespublishing.com, www.janetsmithwarfield.com

Two Perspectives on What Matters Most

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Do we really know what matters most to us? Just give it a second deeper thought, “Do we?”

I came across something very touching in this regard on Facebook recently. It was a photo with the message, “The greatest discovery in the world is to discover yourself.” Very often we are running the rat race or living a life dictated by society because we do not even know what matters most to us and what do we truly want or value in life.

After observing many people over the past 10-15 years, I have reached a conclusion that most of the people chase money or love during their entire adult life depending on what they lacked the most in childhood. If one was born into a rich family where parents hardly had time and one was starved of affection as a child, one often becomes affection-centric . On the other hand, if one was born into a poor family and always saw a shortage of money and material, one tends to become money-centric. We need to realize these imbalances in our personality and try to develop a holistic attitude towards life. A balance of money and material is necessary for true happiness.

Very often we run the rat race thinking that we are making all this money for our family, while family is no more interested in money and wants our time and affection. We think what we want the most is money but on deeper reflection, we realize what we want is a happy family (and of course a clear conscience that we are providing the best possible to our loved ones.)

We should not assume our own needs or the needs of others. We need to rather reflect deeply to understand what matters most to us. To an average human being what matters most is emotional and financial security or in other words the need to be loved and have sufficient material to meet our needs.

No wonder we often feel so empty inside even after becoming millionaires and billionaires. I once posted on Facebook, “The rats are running the rat race while the cool cat enjoys the tamasha from the sidelines.” Once we have understood what matters most to us then we need to balance between our own needs and the needs of our loved ones.

Only such a delicate balance can bring us true happiness and joy. At times, such a balance can feel like walking a tight rope but I assure you it is worth the trouble.

After all anything worth its salt comes at a price.

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” He writes a Blog, “The Joys of Teaching”

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Well, what does matter most? Things? People? Love? Living your values?

What if we simplify the question. What if we ask instead, “What matters most right here, right now, in this moment? And what if we add “What matters most right here, right now, in this moment, to you.”

Not always easy to answer, even when we narrow it down to the present moment and you. But it is far easier than asking the general question we started out with, “What matters most?”

So many things matter: our homes, our families, our pets, our jobs, our cars, our lawns, our communities, our churches.

And what about love, peace of mind, non-violence, freedom, courage, truth, honesty, accountability, gratitude, service? Don’t these matter, too?

You are the only one who can answer the question what matters most. Yes, you can simplify the question by limiting it to right here, right now, and to you personally. Please do that. Why? Because life is always changing and what matters most today may not be what matters most tomorrow.

You do need to decide on your priorities – for yourself – right here, right now. Which is more important to you, right here, right now? To wash the car or play soccer with your son? To watch the football game on TV or spend quality time with your wife? To paint the house or call your parents to say ‘hello?’ To rest or work on that job for the office? Only you can decide. Go with your gut. Do what you want to do or need to do, not what you ought to do.

As you choose your priorities moment by moment, you’ll see patterns emerging. What activities do you choose to do most? This tells you something about your overall values.

If you spend your life working at a job you hate, come home angry, shout at your wife, and slump into a chair to watch TV, perhaps what matters most is simply physical survival – earning enough money to pay for food, shelter, electricity, water, a car, and other physical items. But is that all that matters?

What about your emotional and spiritual needs?  Do you need less stress and more joy? Do you need to take action to improve your self-esteem? Do you need the motivation, discipline and intention to look for a better source of income that pays more money, requires less work, and brings you joy and challenge? Are you willing to do what it takes to go back to school and get that degree that didn’t matter at all when you were sixteen?

Whatever you decide, you’ll be able to do more things that matter if you organize your time and resources. Get all your errands done in one trip. Plan ahead so you don’t have to retrace your steps.

You’ll also be more effective if you pace yourself through your tasks and finish each one before you begin another. That way, you don’t pressure yourself and put yourself under stress. What you don’t finish today will be waiting tomorrow for your time and attention.

Block out time for each thing that matters. Even ten minutes of quality time with your wife is better than a day of arguing because you’re overstressed.

Simplify your life. There are many things you are doing that don’t need to be done, right here, right now, by you. What are they? Let them go and simply do what matters most.

Most important, make sure you take time for yourself. Sleep when you need to sleep. Eat when you are hungry. Meditate when you need to get centered. Be open to receiving gifts and support systems that are all around you when your eyes and heart and mind are open to receiving them. Then watch the miracles happen.

When you take time to re-center yourself, all your tasks and relationships work more smoothly. What matters most emerges in each moment. What emerges that truly matters most is the strength, clarity, intention, focus, and motivation to bring about your deepest desires.

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Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. To learn more, see www.wordsculptures.com, www.janetsmithwarfield.com; and www.wordsculpturespublishing.com.

Two Perspectives on Moving from Fear to Compassion

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

We stay in a state of fear most of the time – the fear of hurting our body, the fear of getting hurt in love, the fear of failure, the fear of not meeting goals at work, the fear of losing our job and so on. Most of the time our fears are expressions of emotional baggage because we expect the past experience to repeat itself. ‘Once bitten, twice shy’ has a very interesting equivalent in Hindi which means the one who got burnt by hot milk drinks even cold buttermilk with caution.

Someone has rightly said, Fear or F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Most of the time our fears are imaginary. Sometimes we may have deep rooted fears also, which we try to overcome very hard but fail again and again. Let’s say every time a blind person tries to walk on his own, he gets hurt. He has a very justified reason for fear. But still if one persists, tries to learn from the experience and acts with determination, fear can be overcome most of the time.

The well known book by Dale Carnegie, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” forces us to reflect. Firstly worry arises from fear and when you live with fear, you are not living fully. Secondly when you release the fear (after becoming aware of your fears), then only you can start living a truly joyful life.

How do we release fears and move from fear to compassion. We need to replace each thought of fear with compassion. Let us take few examples. Supposing you have a fear of dogs. Just remember that positive vibrations tend to invite positive vibrations in return. Look at the dogs with compassion. As you replace your fearful thoughts with compassionate thoughts, you will notice that the dogs will stop barking at you or become less aggressive.

Let us take another example. Many people have a fear of crime in developing countries. Have you ever realized that when you send vibrations of fear, you may attract more crime or thieves? After all the fear will be often visible in your face/body language and will give hints to the wrong people that you are feeling scared. Once a client asked me, “If I become a good human being, aren’t people more likely to misuse me?” I replied, “First become a smart human being and then become a good human being.”

Moving to compassion does not mean becoming compassionate to criminals and thieves. (In fact that is also possible but at a very advanced stage.) But an average person needs to become smart enough so that the tendency of fear of being cheated or fooled comes down. As a result it becomes easier for us to be compassionate and even develop a strong sense of intuition and recognizing the negative vibes in people.

Filling ourselves with positive emotions of gratitude for the universe is very helpful in moving from fear to compassion. I once posted on Facebook, “The universe wants its abundance to flow freely. We only, block it with negative thoughts, lack of faith and often due to lack of gratitude. If we are not grateful to universe for what we have already received, what is the guarantee that we will be grateful, if we get more?”

Our attitude towards problems and challenges is critical to let the fear go. We need to understand that ups and downs are part of life and life cannot be a straight line. As the joke goes, “The only time ECG graph is a straight line is when you are dead.”

Here is a nice video on fear and worry from Robin Sharma, the well known leadership guru and motivational speaker.

How to Defeat Worry

So stop acting with fear and start acting with compassion.

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” He writes a Blog, “The Joys of Teaching”

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

As I walked into the personal growth workshop, the facilitators asked me what I hoped to gain from the weekend. I knew that answer. I desperately wanted to release my fear.

I was afraid of what other people might think, what other people might do, conflict, losing relationships, being different, making a fool of myself. I had been betrayed many times. I was afraid to trust. Most of all, I was afraid of my fear.

As the workshop began, the facilitators asked us to make four commitments: don’t chew gum, don’t interrupt, be on time, and do whatever we were told.

I had no problem with the first three requests. I never chewed gum, I didn’t often speak in front of strangers, and being punctual mattered.

However, I had a problem with the last request—doing whatever we were told. History had taught me that humans had ordered other humans to rape, pillage, steal, and kill.

I was conflicted. I didn’t want to agree. On the other hand, I wanted to learn how to release my fear, and I was afraid of being different and losing the workshop I had paid to attend. Reluctantly, I said yes.

My decision nagged me all week as I waited for the second workshop to begin. I knew the facilitators would demand the same four commitments. Was I going to cave in again and agree? I decided I was not. I was terrified.

Sleepless night after sleepless night, I tossed and turned. What would the facilitators say? How would the other participants act? How should I prepare? My what-ifs continued to torment me.

Fortunately, I had had several years in NarAnon, a support group for families and friends of addicts. NarAnon had taught me I couldn’t fix anyone else. I could only fix myself. NarAnon taught that I needed the help of a Power greater than myself. It suggested “Let go and let God.”

I didn’t much like that word “God.” It always made me think of an old man with a long white beard, sitting on a thundercloud with a lightening bolt in his hand, waiting to strike me dead if I didn’t do some unclear thing he wanted me to do. I had always considered myself an intellectual agnostic.

I did like the words “Power greater than myself” better than the word “God.” However, I had to deal with my terror somehow, I couldn’t do it by myself, and I didn’t have time to engage in the niceties of semantics.

Tears streaming down my face, I threw myself to my knees on the living room floor and pleaded, “God help me!”

Suddenly, a magnificent calm flooded my body. Together, I knew we could handle it.

The second workshop began. Again, the facilitators asked us to make the four commitments. I refused to agree to do whatever I was told.

The room turned surly. The facilitators said the workshop could not continue until every one agreed. Ultimately, they walked out, leaving me alone with a furious group of participants.

Bill had taken time off from work to attend the workshop. Jane was paying for a babysitter so that she could attend. Raymond slammed his fist on the table. Mary screamed in my face. John called me an uncooperative bitch. I felt nothing but compassion and love.

The facilitators returned and asked me to leave the workshop. It no longer mattered. I had received exactly what I came to get—release of my fear.

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Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information, see www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; and www.wordsculptures.com.

Two Perspectives on Releasing Social Filters and Speaking from the Truth of Who We Are

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

I have suffered a lot in life because I have refused to use filters. Maybe I was born brutally honest and ruthlessly frank!

There have been times when I have told women to their face, “Yes you are looking fat” (when they asked for my opinion). Well that’s my opinion, take it or leave it. I don’t claim to be telling the truth all the time, but yes I am telling my version of the truth, what seems true to me.

Inspired by Gandhi, but a bit more complicated, my autobiography will be entitled, “My Experiments with Complete Truth, Ruthless Frankness and Brutal Honesty.” If I survive for the next 20 years, I will write a brutally honest autobiography. I will tell my version of truth, my failures, my successes, my troubles, my self-inflicted suffering. I don’t care whether people will be interested in reading it; I will write it to give vent to whatever emotions have been trapped inside me due to social filters, and I will write it for myself.

Sometimes I have wondered, “Do people really want to know the truth? Or do they prefer sweet lies and diplomacy? Have I paid too high a price for my brutal honesty? Do Indian and eastern cultures like filters and do not respect straight forwardness? Is there some lack of inner confidence which makes us look for sweet lies and reject bitter truth? Is life already too bitter and we should not make it more bitter by truths?”

I still believe we need to develop inner confidence to speak and hear the truth. In the short term, lies can be sweet. But if I tell an ugly woman, “You look beautiful”, will it change the facts? Will I not spoil my own brand and credibility in the process and give her false hopes? But I also believe, if you have inner beauty it will reflect on your face and will make you beautiful (though not in the traditional sense of the term).

In the long run, truth is always better. But in this fast paced world, who is bothered about the long run?

Anyway, I will try to be kindly honest now.

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” He writes a Blog, “The Joys of Teaching”

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

“Mom, most people function with filters. You don’t.” My oldest son offered this observation after an emotionally-charged family phone conference where my youngest son hung up on us, offended by a remark I had made.

I thought a moment and agreed. “No, I don’t use filters.” I speak my truth from the core of who I am, right here, right now, in this present moment, with these people, surrounded by this environment. It is a unique moment carrying its own energy. I am not willing to mask and distort the energy of who I am with people I love, even when it hurts. I want intimacy in as many relationships as possible.

Yet there are times when I do use filters. I use them when discernment and previous experience have shown me there are people I cannot trust to care for my welfare as they would care for their own. Then I need to use filters to protect both them and me.

Can my truth of the moment change? Absolutely and often quickly when others are also speaking without filters from the core of their own beings. They offer me a perspective I might not previously have thought of or additional information I didn’t previously have.

I do know that speaking from my unfiltered core upsets people who only feel comfortable operating through filters. Is it because I’ve lived every single one of those filters myself and know them well from the inside out? Because I’ve lived them, I can penetrate them. That’s threatening for people who believe their filter is Truth.

My youngest son had commented that there were consequences to my speech and actions. I know that and don’t take either speech or action lightly. But are he and his wife aware that there are also consequences to their speech and actions? Eastern religions call it karma.

So how do we move forward in relationship and collaboration when one person needs filters and the other is functioning from the core of who they are? There’s clearly a misalignment of communication and energies. Intimacy is not possible when people function from filters, although etiquette and polite conversation certainly are.

“I consider myself a pretty good mediator,” my oldest son said, “but I don’t know where to go from here.” Neither did I.

“I think I am simply going to stop taking initiative and stop seeking out relationships with people who need filters,” I said. “If and when they want intimacy, I’m here.” I can still love them. I can pray and meditate for all of us when we’re stuck in our conditioned filters. I can even just keep my mouth shut when I’m around people stuck in filters. But is it worth the price?

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; and www.wordsculptures.com.

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Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Love

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

When we say, “I love you”, most of us are actually saying, “I need emotional energy. Do you also need it? Can we exchange it?” Some of us will say, “So what is wrong, everything is give and take in this world.” And others will say, “Sadly this is true, even love has become a business of emotions.”

I am a true Libran and I am always trying to achieve that delicate balance (though I may not succeed all the time). On one hand I agree there is no harm in give and take (In fact my favorite Hindi song Sach mere yaar hai has a similar tone) and it is difficult for a human being to love someone who does not love you in return. On the other hand if every time you tell your loved one, “See I have done this for you and now you must do this for me in return, it can become a very logical love.” Love is of course a very beautiful emotion which should not get too logical.

Business of love

For most of us love is a business where we invest emotional energy to get equal emotional energy in return. I sometimes jokingly use the management term ‘Return on investment’ or ROI. Though our economies keep on fluctuating between recession and boom, I think love in this world has been in the depression stage for quite some time. The return on the investment on love has become very low. The next thing which immediately strikes our mind is, “Does unconditional love exist in today’s world?”

Unconditional love

I once posted on Facebook, “Since you have met my conditions, now I shall give you unconditional love and the human story goes on.” Sadly this is the true state of affairs. Mothers in particular and parents in general do give us unconditional love to their children but the duration and intensity of the unconditional love is being questioned in the society now. So why is LOVE disappearing into thin air?

Love in a materialistic world

As our greed for material becomes stronger and stronger, the life span of love becomes shorter and shorter. “Kab aata hai, kab jaata hai…” Love comes and goes but as long as it stays it takes you through a heavenly experience. Since the world has become too materialistic, the relationships have become too vulnerable. But we need to remember, the less love we get, the more we try to feed our insecurities with money and material. Money can never give the lasting happiness which loving relationships can. But our greed for money and increasing distrust in the negative society we live in has created a question mark on the status of love.

Is true love possible?

Love is a much glorified word and is probably the most misused word in the world. I am reminded of a famous quote which is probably true for love too, “Love is dead. Long live love.” The base human feelings of selfishness must be conquered first to be able to love someone. In fact my experience has been, you should be either too mature or too spiritual to develop the capacity to love truly.

Though love is a very broad word and covers love for living and non-living things but love in a narrow sense is used for life partner. In fact as the society evolves, we will move from the concept of life partner to life purpose partner. When we discover our deepest passion and life purpose we would want a life purpose partner who supports us in our mission. That’s why they say, “Love is not looking into each other’s eyes but looking together in the same direction.”

I remember receiving a beautiful New Year message from a friend sometime back, “Faith makes all things possible, hope makes all things work and love makes all things beautiful.” We have moved from love to business of love and now to tamasha of love. Will love stage a comeback in the society? Is there a hope in the near future? Will we achieve a delicate balance between love and money, emotion and material? I am keenly awaiting your answers.

Inspiring Quotes on Love

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.

-Lao Tzu

‎A man travels all over the World to find what he needs and returns home to find it

-George Moore

_____________________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” _______________________________________________________________________________

Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

What is love?

Yesterday, in preparation for writing this blog, I reread Plato’s Symposium. In the Symposium, Socrates and his friends, Phaedrus, Pausanias, Eryximachus, Aristophanes, and Agathon take turns conversing about love. Their offerings end with a dialog between Socrates and Socrates speaking as Diotema, a wise woman of Mantineia, who was Socrates’ instructress about love.

Phaedrus speaks of love as being courageous, true, and honorable – a willingness to die for another.

Pausanias differentiates between heavenly love and earthly love. Heavenly love has a noble purpose, is faithful to the end, and has no shadow of lust. Earthly love is a coarser kind of love – love only of the body.

Eryximachus, the physician, focuses on the reconciliation or harmony which unites opposites. Love which is just and temperate has the greatest power and is the source of happiness.

Aristophanes professes that love is the desire for the whole. The pursuit of the whole, or reconciliation with God, is called love.

Agathon states that love dwells in the hearts and souls of men and can neither do nor suffer wrong. Where there is love, there is obedience. Where there is obedience, there is justice. Love is temperate, courageous, and wise.

Then Socrates, speaking as Diotema, dialoging with Socrates himself, begins his discourse by saying that his friends have spoken only what is good about love and not what is true about love. Socrates speaking as Diotema continues by saying that love is the son of Plenty and Poverty, both full and squalid; a mean between ignorance and knowledge, neither mortal nor immortal, never in want and never in wealth. Love interprets between gods and men. Love desires birth in beauty and the everlasting possession of the good – immortality in a mortal creature through the creation and invention of conceptions of wisdom and virtue.

The discourse is interrupted by Alcibiades, a drunken and disappointed lover of Socrates, who joins in the discourse to sing the praises of Socrates, proclaiming him a great speaker and enchanter who ravishes the souls of men and convinces their hearts. Alcibiades has suffered agonies from Socrates and is at his wit’s end. He relates Socrates’ superior powers of enduring cold and fatigue and how Socrates saved Alcibiades’ life. Socrates is the most wonderful of human beings and also a satyr. He uses the commonest words as masks for divine truths.

And then, this morning, as I was luxuriating in bed, pondering what I had read the day before and asking myself, “Well, what is love anyway?” I found myself challenged by the words with which to express the experience. We all know love when we experience it, but how can we create the words to describe it? The words can only point to the experience. They cannot accurately communicate it.

I loved my parents, even though they mistakenly guided me into physical marriage and only partially into being the creative being that I am. I loved the father of my children, even though he brought suffering into my life through an affair. I know what it feels like to love a soul mate and then be brutally abused by him. I love being immersed in beautiful sunsets, fine art, mountain waterfalls, and angelic choirs.

So what is love?

For me, it is simply a state of creative being, a dynamic energetic flow, a creative life force, constantly shifting in form as I dance my own dance of consciousness with the other life forms around me. It is the conscious choice to be the divine and support the manifestation of the divine in everything around me.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com;   www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Co-Creating a Peaceful, Prosperous Planet

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Internet and social media are bringing us together on a large scale. The spreading of protests (Occupy Wall Street) on an international scale shows that people all over the world are facing similar problems and true globalization is about to begin. The mass media can ignore things at its own peril.

The major challenges in creating a peaceful and prosperous planet are cross border conflicts, languages and cultural differences and limited interaction (to understand and appreciate other perspectives). In my opinion there are four major tools we can use to make the world a beautiful place to live in.

1)      Collaboration at individual and organization levels

People need to collaborate at individual levels using social media and internet. The collaboration between organizations (and countries of course) can also be encouraged. The three major focus areas should be world peace, education and culture (Soka Gakkai International, based in Japan works in these areas).

2)      Wisdom

Understanding the root causes of issues by increasing our wisdom levels will go a long way in creating a peaceful and prosperous world.  Knowledge puts us in the way of wisdom but wisdom is something experiential. Sandra Carey says, “Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.” Japanese have a nice proverb differentiating knowledge and wisdom, “Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books, on the back of an ass.”

Wisdom will help us in understanding the root causes behind international conflicts and eliminating them. It will also help us to respond rather than react to situations. Wisdom will also discourage the abuse of power.

3)      Compassion

Developing empathy and trying to understand another person’s (or race) perspective is very critical. According to the Latin roots of the word, compassion means co-suffering, suffering with others, feeling the pain of others as if it was your pain. As the saying goes, “Kindness gives to other. Compassion knows no other.” Empathetic Listening is very critical to develop compassion. Also, if you put yourself in another person’s shoes, you will be able to understand their problems better and may be able to help by suggesting solutions.

Compassion will make rich countries (and their people) more generous towards their poorer counterparts. A genuine effort will be made to uplift and the approach with focus on hard negotiations will change to a more win-win approach.

4)      Courage

People need to gather courage to stand up against injustice and vested interests that divide and create rift. Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines courage as, “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. It also implies firmness of mind or will.” Letting go of fear contributes to our sanity and expands our consciousness as fear tends to hold us back, distorts our perceptions and reduces our faith.

Some politicians may have a tendency to divide people due to vested interests. People need to stand up against such efforts and discourage any actions which create further divides in society.

Conclusion

With these four simple tools, I am sure we will be on our way to co-create a peaceful and prosperous planet. The journey would be long and challenging but it is a much needed journey.

The destination will be a peaceful and prosperous planet where we shall feel blessed to be living.

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Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To learn more about him, click here: http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

Copyright © 2011 – Dr Amit Nagpal. All rights reserved

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Patriarchal systems are breaking down. Top down Communism no longer works. Top down democracy, bought by top down corporations, no longer works. Monarchies and dictatorships are being challenged and overthrown.

Women are waking up and starting to think for themselves. Women are no longer willing to accept the roles into which men have placed them: sex object, subservient wife, mother, cook, housekeeper, babysitter. Women are no longer willing to sit idly by and watch their husbands and sons be slaughtered by other women’s husbands and sons.

As women take back their power, men are waking up, too. They are beginning to respect the awesome female collaborative and cooperative power that can lead our entire planet away from war and violence and into global peace and abundance.

Throughout the world, men and women are aligning to bring about reform. Occupy Wall Street has spread throughout the world, as the 99% challenge the 1% whose decisions have led us to the brink of destruction.

Together, we have allowed the major news media to shape our minds, thoughts and emotions. People are tired of a steady stream of violence, verbal abuse, and news about what’s wrong with the world. Good news media are springing up everywhere to replace the naysayers and spread good news about what is working. People everywhere are seeking a return to sanity, both in their personal worlds and their collective worlds. They are starting to think for themselves so they can release their fear and depression and start taking positive action to turn themselves and our world around.

There are two concepts that can help us understand what’s happening so that together, we can consciously co-create a world that works for all of us. One is holons. The other is Teilhard de Chardin’s Noosphere.

The first concept, that of a holon, can be represented by the image above. If energy is inherent within each circle, and each circle is its own complete system (whether an atom, a cell, a heart, a human being, a planet, etc.), we have a holarchy or perhaps pure democracy or pure communism. Alternatively, we have undivided wholeness, with power and creativity flowing in all directions, top down, bottom up, and all around. Each circle/system is connected to and nestled within other more encompassing circles/systems and all are involved in an energetic exchange that affects each and every part. The challenge is to align them and bring them into harmony and balance. For the past 2,000 years, this was done through patriarchy. How interesting that this image can also be viewed as a hierarchy when the underlying energy is flowing only from the top down.

The second concept is the Noosphere or Teihard de Chardin’s thinking layer of earth. If each miniscule part of a holon is complete in itself and yet connected to all other holons, then each is connected to every other holon at a thinking level beyond itself. The Noosphere might also be referred to as the Akashic Records or the Field.

If we use our words, not to judge and condemn, but simply to share information, there is no right or wrong. There are only creative perspectives. Some perspectives work better than others. Some perspectives are more encompassing and inclusive than others. No perspective is any more encompassing and inclusive than the perspective that everything is perspective.

The perspective that everything is perspective is freeing. The way we see the world is okay. It is also terrifying and humbling. The way others see the world is also okay. If we believe that everything is perspective, we have to listen to and respect others as well as ourselves. We also need to be very aware, conscious, and accountable for all our actions.

There’s a fine line between chaos and heaven on earth. That line is non-violence and awareness. It’s a choice – for each and every one of us.

If you want to be a conscious part of co-creating a planet that works for all, you can get more information or get actively involved here: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/2012e/WSP/

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Stereotyping

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

In the increasingly assertive society we live in, it becomes important to choose our words carefully, especially when we stereotype. If I talk of Indian society, we are jam-packed with stereotypes, which are slowly being broken by the pioneers with lots of difficulties and opposition. A woman should be doing X, a lower caste person should do Y; all Punjabis are like this and so on. But unfortunately the same people who get irritated with one stereotype, they believe and talk of other stereotypes.

When women act in a feminist way (getting over-assertive at times), I understand the pain which is behind it and the stereotypes that create that anguish. And on top of that we strongly stereotype, “All North-Indians are like that, all South Indians are like that, all small town people are like that”; in fact the painful list is never ending. I have always requested people to at least replace ‘all people’ with ‘most of the people’. Personally I have been a victim of stereotyping myself, as I do not fit into the traditional definition of Indian male nor do I want to. The metro sexual man who does baby-sitting, who is sensitive rather than macho, who may want romance as part of sex, such a man is still emerging in the Indian society, slowly being recognized by the media at least in metro cities.

Even in the western society where women are now more or less treated as equals, we have books coming, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. If a man has come from Venus to earth, what does he do? If one does not belong to the stereotype, one may feel like a washerman’s dog, who belongs nowhere because a washerman needs a donkey and not dogs. (My due sympathies to all the dogs of the washermen).

Yes stereotypes help us in quick decision making, yes stereotypes still exist practically and cannot be eliminated altogether, but can’t we be a little more sensitive in our language and behavior, so that the people who do not belong to the defined stereotype don’t suffer or end up protesting  (sometimes ending up using violence to avenge years of suppression)? Another simple way is to define qualities rather than people. (It may have its own complications though.) For example each human being is made up of masculine and feminine qualities. Once I jokingly wrote on Facebook, “There are four genders in the society today, male, female, and masculine female and feminine male, so let us not stereotype” In fact it may be difficult to define masculine female because the degree of masculinity may have huge variance.

In a way stereotyping is injustice but then injustice is a part and parcel of our society. It is also the law that when the frustration level due to injustice reaches its peak, it results in violence and revolutions. Sadly, when it comes to stereotyping, the humanity (or should I say most of the humanity rather) needs sensitivity training.

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Of course we can’t completely avoid stereotyping, unless we want to stop talking completely. Words automatically create stereotypes: black versus white, tall versus short, fat versus thin. Words automatically divide and classify our sensory data. Words automatically simplify so we can understand and communicate.

But let’s look for a minute at:

1. The intention behind creating a stereotype
2. The emotional content we give it.
3. The experiential context of the stereotype

If you are in Tampa and ask for directions to Sarasota, your intention is to go from Tampa to Sarasota. Perhaps Paul tells you to drive 60 miles south on I-75 until you see a tall, fat, black post on the left side of the road. Paul is aligned with helping you fulfill your intention. The words, tall, fat and black have no emotional content. The experiential context is giving and receiving information in order to achieve a mutually desired result.

On the other hand, if a murder has been committed in Tampa and the police are looking for a tall, fat, black man because that is the description witnesses have given them, the intention is to catch and restrain a violent man so he doesn’t continue to act out his anger. The experiential context is safety for all members of the community. The emotional content is huge, and it is different for each person involved.

For the victim’s family, it is grief and rage. For the murderer, perhaps it is guilt and fear. For any innocent tall, fat, black man stopped and questioned by the police, it may be frustration, anger, and feelings of victimization and unfair treatment. For the policemen, the intention may simply be to do their job and create a safe community. On the other hand, for some of them, the intention may be cloaked in unconscious anger, vindictiveness, and stereotyping of all tall, fat, black men as bad.

It’s when we separate human from human and project hate, judgment, blame, rage, and vindictiveness out into the world against our fellow man that stereotyping becomes a problem. When our aligned intention is to communicate and collaborate to co-create non-violent communities, there is no negative emotional content, the experiential context is informational, and stereotyping is simply not an issue.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Silence

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

“The bell of mindfulness is the voice of the Buddha calling us back to ourselves. We have to respect each sound of the bell, stop our THINKING AND TALKING and get in touch with ourselves, breathing and smiling. This is not the Buddha from the outside. It is our own Buddha calling us home.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Bell at Buddhist Shrine, Oahu, Hawaii

Silence. I decided to go myself into silence before I wrote the post. Few minutes of silence and I started to look at silence from a completely new perspective. Why do we equate silence only with verbal silence? Silence can be mental silence, emotional silence and spiritual silence. In fact, in my opinion verbal silence gives peace, mental silence gives joy and spiritual silence gives perfect bliss. Verbal silence gives us an opportunity to do self-reflection and develop deeper understanding of things. Mental silence provides us relaxation and clarity of thought. Emotional silence provides us equanimity and equilibrium. Spiritual silence provides us bliss and enlightenment.

Creative solutions come up in the moments of silence. Silence can even boost our self-esteem and confidence by making us the springs of ideas, solutions and divine inspirations. It is a sad contradiction of human society that we have invented powerful silencers for our vehicles yet our minds are making disturbing and never ending chatter.

If silence is so beautiful, why is the society so afraid of it? Often when we see a silent person, we ask her/him, if anything is disturbing her/him. In the well known book, “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom, the teacher (Morrie) observes fifteen minutes of silence in the class and finds that silence is embarrassing and we find comfort in noise.” Is it true that the more insecure we feel, the more we talk and the more secure we become, we get more and more silent? (Dear Readers, please post your views)

Tony Cuckson, Irish author says, “Human BEings have become human DOings. It is the rhythm, Do, Be, Do, Be.” There is a nice romantic Hindi song, “Kucch na kaho” which roughly translated means, “Don’t say anything, and in fact don’t speak at all. What is there to speak? What is there to hear? You know and I know. The moment has also come to a standstill.” So get into silence for a few minutes and you can romance not only with your beloved but with nature and the divine too.

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Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To know more about him, click here: http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

Copyright © 2011 – Dr Amit Nagpal. All rights reserved

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

______________________________________________________________________

Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.