Two Perspectives on Speaking Our Own Truth
2011
Two Perspectives on Releasing Social Filters and Speaking from the Truth of Who We Are
Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and
Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA
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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective
I have suffered a lot in life because I have refused to use filters. Maybe I was born brutally honest and ruthlessly frank!
There have been times when I have told women to their face, “Yes you are looking fat” (when they asked for my opinion). Well that’s my opinion, take it or leave it. I don’t claim to be telling the truth all the time, but yes I am telling my version of the truth, what seems true to me.
Inspired by Gandhi, but a bit more complicated, my autobiography will be entitled, “My Experiments with Complete Truth, Ruthless Frankness and Brutal Honesty.” If I survive for the next 20 years, I will write a brutally honest autobiography. I will tell my version of truth, my failures, my successes, my troubles, my self-inflicted suffering. I don’t care whether people will be interested in reading it; I will write it to give vent to whatever emotions have been trapped inside me due to social filters, and I will write it for myself.
Sometimes I have wondered, “Do people really want to know the truth? Or do they prefer sweet lies and diplomacy? Have I paid too high a price for my brutal honesty? Do Indian and eastern cultures like filters and do not respect straight forwardness? Is there some lack of inner confidence which makes us look for sweet lies and reject bitter truth? Is life already too bitter and we should not make it more bitter by truths?”
I still believe we need to develop inner confidence to speak and hear the truth. In the short term, lies can be sweet. But if I tell an ugly woman, “You look beautiful”, will it change the facts? Will I not spoil my own brand and credibility in the process and give her false hopes? But I also believe, if you have inner beauty it will reflect on your face and will make you beautiful (though not in the traditional sense of the term).
In the long run, truth is always better. But in this fast paced world, who is bothered about the long run?
Anyway, I will try to be kindly honest now.
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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant, passionate Blogger, and Motivational Speaker based in New Delhi, India. He specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is “Take Charge of your Life and your Brand” He writes a Blog, “The Joys of Teaching”
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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective
“Mom, most people function with filters. You don’t.” My oldest son offered this observation after an emotionally-charged family phone conference where my youngest son hung up on us, offended by a remark I had made.
I thought a moment and agreed. “No, I don’t use filters.” I speak my truth from the core of who I am, right here, right now, in this present moment, with these people, surrounded by this environment. It is a unique moment carrying its own energy. I am not willing to mask and distort the energy of who I am with people I love, even when it hurts. I want intimacy in as many relationships as possible.
Yet there are times when I do use filters. I use them when discernment and previous experience have shown me there are people I cannot trust to care for my welfare as they would care for their own. Then I need to use filters to protect both them and me.
Can my truth of the moment change? Absolutely and often quickly when others are also speaking without filters from the core of their own beings. They offer me a perspective I might not previously have thought of or additional information I didn’t previously have.
I do know that speaking from my unfiltered core upsets people who only feel comfortable operating through filters. Is it because I’ve lived every single one of those filters myself and know them well from the inside out? Because I’ve lived them, I can penetrate them. That’s threatening for people who believe their filter is Truth.
My youngest son had commented that there were consequences to my speech and actions. I know that and don’t take either speech or action lightly. But are he and his wife aware that there are also consequences to their speech and actions? Eastern religions call it karma.
So how do we move forward in relationship and collaboration when one person needs filters and the other is functioning from the core of who they are? There’s clearly a misalignment of communication and energies. Intimacy is not possible when people function from filters, although etiquette and polite conversation certainly are.
“I consider myself a pretty good mediator,” my oldest son said, “but I don’t know where to go from here.” Neither did I.
“I think I am simply going to stop taking initiative and stop seeking out relationships with people who need filters,” I said. “If and when they want intimacy, I’m here.” I can still love them. I can pray and meditate for all of us when we’re stuck in our conditioned filters. I can even just keep my mouth shut when I’m around people stuck in filters. But is it worth the price?
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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; and www.wordsculptures.com.
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Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.
Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective
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