TOOLS FOR TRANSFORMATION – GRATITUDE

Dec 04
2013

Two Perspectives on Gratitude as a Tool for Transformation

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Amit Nagpal (new)(cropped)Was I always grateful? No, definitely not.

Yet I would say the most important lesson I have learned in my life is gratitude. The more grateful I became, the more blessings the Universe bestowed upon me. It has been a long journey though.

I had more complaints and less gratitude for almost 25 years of my life. I felt I always got less than what I gave. So naturally, I deserved to receive gratitude, not express it. The Chicken Soup for the Soul series initially inspired me to give thank you notes and express gratitude wholeheartedly (around 1998). While the complaining attitude was clouding my mind, gratitude helped me find clarity and fill positive energy in the mind.

The more grateful I became, the more my life began overflowing with beautiful souls. And on thanksgiving this year, I was able to gather strength to even express gratitude to the relationships which have been lessons rather than blessings. The people who had rather rubbed me like sandpaper, also deserved my gratitude, since they had made me grow and evolve. I also realized it’s good to give people a benefit of doubt. In fact practically speaking, giving benefit of doubt to people, gives you also peace of mind.

If you still have doubts, then I would speak the language of science. Gratitude releases the negative energy from the mind. When there is no negative energy (grudges, guilt, suppressed anger and so on), it is easier to meditate and find that peace or desired results. In your own interest forgive and bury the past. Wallace D Wattles rightly says, “The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore, it tends to become the best.”

In fact these lessons helped me find peace, and meditation helped me find perfect peace. Perfect peace led to regaining my lost creativity and finding clarity, purpose and joy. Beautiful souls walked in, unexpected events started happening, surprises started becoming a norm, and life became wonderfully worth living.

Let me end with a note of gratitude,

“Some inspiration comes from my inspiration (muse),

Some inspiration comes from the divine.

Some inspiration comes from my friends,

There is nothing I can claim to be mine.”

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dr Amit Nagpal is Chief Inspirational Storyteller at AL Services. He is a Social Media Influencer,  Author, Speaker/Trainer & Coach. To know more, visit www.dramitnagpal.com. (His special interest and expertise lies in inspirational storytelling, anecdotes and visual storytelling)

AL Services offers content development/story writing, consulting, training and other services in the area of brand storytelling. To know more, write to amit@dramitnagpal.com.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield

Tears dampen my cheek

washing the pain from my Soul.

Refreshing shower.

 

After 21 years of marriage and three children, my husband abandoned me for another woman.

I had been a wonderful wife. I had washed the family clothes, cleaned the family home, baked homemade bread, cared for our yard and organic garden, joined my husband on his sailing excursions and trips to Maine, watched football games with him, entertained his friends, played bridge with him, sung our children to sleep, read them stories, played games with them. He said we had the perfect marriage.

Yet he abandoned me and our children to rut after another woman.

My whole world turned upside down. What had I done wrong?

I lost my trust in people. I lost my trust in the social systems that had supported my family over centuries. I was hurting, my children were hurting, and there was little I could do to make anything better.

I sobbed alone at night for hours. My heart shattered wide open and split into millions of pieces.

One of our sons went from straight A’s to Straight F’s in a single year, got hooked on drugs, and became involved in physical violence and arrests. I was waking up in the middle of the night with such deep rage that it felt as if my guts were being ripped from my belly. But for emotional and financial support from my parents, I might well have bought a gun and murdered both my husband and his mistress.

How can one be grateful for such a life-shattering experience?

I learned I was a survivor and spiritual warrior. Being used by this man as a convenient housekeeper, babysitter, and sex object was not the life I was intended to live.

At age 20, becoming a lawyer had never been part of my vision. At age 40, I needed to go to law school to learn how to use words and the patriarchal system to protect myself against words and the patriarchal system. I graduated cum laude and practiced law for 22 years. On more than one occasion, bullies, incompetents, and dysfunctional politicians disintegrated and disappeared as I presented relevant facts and arguments to support a dynamic, all-inclusive, co-creative community.

I learned how to think for myself and take care of myself. I became a free woman. I am beholden to no one other than the Source I have chosen to believe in, myself, and those humans who are accountable and conscious enough to deserve my gifts and my love.

I’ve experienced many dark nights of the Soul, but I’ve learned to dance with words and dance with wisdom. I’ve even learned to dance with functional, respectful, appreciative men.

Here’s a short video on gratitude you may find useful:

Gratitude

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. To learn more, go to www.wordsculptures.comwww.janetsmithwarfield.com, and www.wordsculpturespublishing.com.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

TOOLS FOR TRANSFORMATION – JOURNALING

Oct 15
2012

Two Perspectives on Journaling as a Tool for Transformation

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Journaling is one of the best tools for personal transformation. Let us take a look at how to do journaling for personal growth and transformation purposes. Primarily it can be divided into three categories, viz.

  • Tool for self-reflection
  • Tool for release of anger
  • Journaling as a filter

 

Tool for self-reflection

Journaling is primarily a tool for self-reflection. Have you ever reflected upon what are your three core values? Once we decide our three core values, we can do a self-reflection every week, “Am I living according to my values? What are the areas I need to improve? What mistakes did I make in these areas?” as part of the journaling process. You can monitor your own growth by reading what you wrote three months back or a year back and compare your current state.

Tool for release of anger

When you are feeling very angry-you have two options, viz.

  • Write it out and then tear the pages
  • Write it and keep it to monitor your own progress.

What is written in extreme anger should be destroyed as it can be dangerous if it reaches the wrong person by mistake.

Journaling as a filter

Creative people often have phases of creativity blasts and phases of dryness (of ideas). When you are inspired and are flooded with ideas, the journal becomes your filter too. Write everything in the journal before posting on social media. Double check whether it is worth posting and aligned with your three core values (from focus/personal branding perspective). Double check the errors, if you are developing yourself as a professional author or blogger.

Sometimes when you read your own stuff after six months or a year, you feel like laughing at your stupidities or your raw language at that point of time. So journaling can be a source of entertainment too at times.

The trouble of today is the joke of tomorrow.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant & Deepest Passion Coach. He is based in New Delhi, India and specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is, “Enlarge as a Human Being, Excel as a Social Media Being and Evolve as a Personal Brand”

______________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

 

 

 

For the YouTube video, please click here:    Journaling

If you prefer a quick read, please continue below.

 

Benefits:

  • Clarity
  • Understanding
  • Inner Peace
  • Healing
  • Increased Self-Esteem
  • Joy
  • Freedom

What You Need:

  • Pen or pencil
  • Journal or pad of paper
  • One hour of uninterrupted time
  • Quiet surroundings
  • An open mind

Guidelines:

  • Don’t censor your thoughts! (I can’t stress this enough.)
  • Notice your thoughts.
  • Allow your thoughts to flow wherever they want to go.
  • Write everything down on your paper
  • Just watch what comes through.

Personal Safety:

  • What you write is for your eyes alone.
  • Feel free to shred what you’ve written at any time.

Don’t be Surprised if:

  • You don’t know what to write about. (Just sit in your “not knowing” until thoughts show up.)
  • Unexpected emotions suddenly surface. (If these appear, just notice them, and when you are ready, return to your journaling. You may want to use them as a starting point for a new thread of writing.)

Allow Yourself to:

  • Misspell words
  • Use the wrong word
  • Use wrong grammar
  • Be judgmental
  • Pour out your rage
  • Look at your fear
  • Grieve

My personal experience with journaling is that I start out struggling with a problem, meander along twisting, winding paths, jump to a seemingly unrelated train of thought that just won’t leave me alone, and end up with new insights and new ideas for moving forward.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information, see wordsculptures.com, janetsmithwarfield.com, and wordsculpturespublishing.com.

_______________________________________________________________________________

 

Can We Completely Avoid Stereotyping?

Sep 16
2011

Two Perspectives on Stereotyping

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

____________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

In the increasingly assertive society we live in, it becomes important to choose our words carefully, especially when we stereotype. If I talk of Indian society, we are jam-packed with stereotypes, which are slowly being broken by the pioneers with lots of difficulties and opposition. A woman should be doing X, a lower caste person should do Y; all Punjabis are like this and so on. But unfortunately the same people who get irritated with one stereotype, they believe and talk of other stereotypes.

When women act in a feminist way (getting over-assertive at times), I understand the pain which is behind it and the stereotypes that create that anguish. And on top of that we strongly stereotype, “All North-Indians are like that, all South Indians are like that, all small town people are like that”; in fact the painful list is never ending. I have always requested people to at least replace ‘all people’ with ‘most of the people’. Personally I have been a victim of stereotyping myself, as I do not fit into the traditional definition of Indian male nor do I want to. The metro sexual man who does baby-sitting, who is sensitive rather than macho, who may want romance as part of sex, such a man is still emerging in the Indian society, slowly being recognized by the media at least in metro cities.

Even in the western society where women are now more or less treated as equals, we have books coming, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. If a man has come from Venus to earth, what does he do? If one does not belong to the stereotype, one may feel like a washerman’s dog, who belongs nowhere because a washerman needs a donkey and not dogs. (My due sympathies to all the dogs of the washermen).

Yes stereotypes help us in quick decision making, yes stereotypes still exist practically and cannot be eliminated altogether, but can’t we be a little more sensitive in our language and behavior, so that the people who do not belong to the defined stereotype don’t suffer or end up protesting  (sometimes ending up using violence to avenge years of suppression)? Another simple way is to define qualities rather than people. (It may have its own complications though.) For example each human being is made up of masculine and feminine qualities. Once I jokingly wrote on Facebook, “There are four genders in the society today, male, female, and masculine female and feminine male, so let us not stereotype” In fact it may be difficult to define masculine female because the degree of masculinity may have huge variance.

In a way stereotyping is injustice but then injustice is a part and parcel of our society. It is also the law that when the frustration level due to injustice reaches its peak, it results in violence and revolutions. Sadly, when it comes to stereotyping, the humanity (or should I say most of the humanity rather) needs sensitivity training.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Of course we can’t completely avoid stereotyping, unless we want to stop talking completely. Words automatically create stereotypes: black versus white, tall versus short, fat versus thin. Words automatically divide and classify our sensory data. Words automatically simplify so we can understand and communicate.

But let’s look for a minute at:

  1. The intention behind creating a stereotype
  2. The emotional content we give it.
  3. The experiential context of the stereotype

If you are in Tampa and ask for directions to Sarasota, your intention is to go from Tampa to Sarasota. Perhaps Paul tells you to drive 60 miles south on I-75 until you see a tall, fat, black post on the left side of the road. Paul is aligned with helping you fulfill your intention. The words, tall, fat and black have no emotional content. The experiential context is giving and receiving information in order to achieve a mutually desired result.

On the other hand, if a murder has been committed in Tampa and the police are looking for a tall, fat, black man because that is the description witnesses have given them, the intention is to catch and restrain a violent man so he doesn’t continue to act out his anger. The experiential context is safety for all members of the community. The emotional content is huge, and it is different for each person involved.

For the victim’s family, it is grief and rage. For the murderer, perhaps it is guilt and fear. For any innocent tall, fat, black man stopped and questioned by the police, it may be frustration, anger, and feelings of victimization and unfair treatment. For the policemen, the intention may simply be to do their job and create a safe community. On the other hand, for some of them, the intention may be cloaked in unconscious anger, vindictiveness, and stereotyping of all tall, fat, black men as bad.

It’s when we separate human from human and project hate, judgment, blame, rage, and vindictiveness out into the world against our fellow man that stereotyping becomes a problem. When our aligned intention is to communicate and collaborate to co-create non-violent communities, there is no negative emotional content, the experiential context is informational, and stereotyping is simply not an issue.

______________________________________________________________________________

Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.