Two Perspectives

Two Perspectives on Stereotyping

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

In the increasingly assertive society we live in, it becomes important to choose our words carefully, especially when we stereotype. If I talk of Indian society, we are jam-packed with stereotypes, which are slowly being broken by the pioneers with lots of difficulties and opposition. A woman should be doing X, a lower caste person should do Y; all Punjabis are like this and so on. But unfortunately the same people who get irritated with one stereotype, they believe and talk of other stereotypes.

When women act in a feminist way (getting over-assertive at times), I understand the pain which is behind it and the stereotypes that create that anguish. And on top of that we strongly stereotype, “All North-Indians are like that, all South Indians are like that, all small town people are like that”; in fact the painful list is never ending. I have always requested people to at least replace ‘all people’ with ‘most of the people’. Personally I have been a victim of stereotyping myself, as I do not fit into the traditional definition of Indian male nor do I want to. The metro sexual man who does baby-sitting, who is sensitive rather than macho, who may want romance as part of sex, such a man is still emerging in the Indian society, slowly being recognized by the media at least in metro cities.

Even in the western society where women are now more or less treated as equals, we have books coming, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. If a man has come from Venus to earth, what does he do? If one does not belong to the stereotype, one may feel like a washerman’s dog, who belongs nowhere because a washerman needs a donkey and not dogs. (My due sympathies to all the dogs of the washermen).

Yes stereotypes help us in quick decision making, yes stereotypes still exist practically and cannot be eliminated altogether, but can’t we be a little more sensitive in our language and behavior, so that the people who do not belong to the defined stereotype don’t suffer or end up protesting  (sometimes ending up using violence to avenge years of suppression)? Another simple way is to define qualities rather than people. (It may have its own complications though.) For example each human being is made up of masculine and feminine qualities. Once I jokingly wrote on Facebook, “There are four genders in the society today, male, female, and masculine female and feminine male, so let us not stereotype” In fact it may be difficult to define masculine female because the degree of masculinity may have huge variance.

In a way stereotyping is injustice but then injustice is a part and parcel of our society. It is also the law that when the frustration level due to injustice reaches its peak, it results in violence and revolutions. Sadly, when it comes to stereotyping, the humanity (or should I say most of the humanity rather) needs sensitivity training.

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Of course we can’t completely avoid stereotyping, unless we want to stop talking completely. Words automatically create stereotypes: black versus white, tall versus short, fat versus thin. Words automatically divide and classify our sensory data. Words automatically simplify so we can understand and communicate.

But let’s look for a minute at:

1. The intention behind creating a stereotype
2. The emotional content we give it.
3. The experiential context of the stereotype

If you are in Tampa and ask for directions to Sarasota, your intention is to go from Tampa to Sarasota. Perhaps Paul tells you to drive 60 miles south on I-75 until you see a tall, fat, black post on the left side of the road. Paul is aligned with helping you fulfill your intention. The words, tall, fat and black have no emotional content. The experiential context is giving and receiving information in order to achieve a mutually desired result.

On the other hand, if a murder has been committed in Tampa and the police are looking for a tall, fat, black man because that is the description witnesses have given them, the intention is to catch and restrain a violent man so he doesn’t continue to act out his anger. The experiential context is safety for all members of the community. The emotional content is huge, and it is different for each person involved.

For the victim’s family, it is grief and rage. For the murderer, perhaps it is guilt and fear. For any innocent tall, fat, black man stopped and questioned by the police, it may be frustration, anger, and feelings of victimization and unfair treatment. For the policemen, the intention may simply be to do their job and create a safe community. On the other hand, for some of them, the intention may be cloaked in unconscious anger, vindictiveness, and stereotyping of all tall, fat, black men as bad.

It’s when we separate human from human and project hate, judgment, blame, rage, and vindictiveness out into the world against our fellow man that stereotyping becomes a problem. When our aligned intention is to communicate and collaborate to co-create non-violent communities, there is no negative emotional content, the experiential context is informational, and stereotyping is simply not an issue.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.

Two Perspectives on Piercing the Veil of Word Illusions and Creating Our Own Reality

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Janet Smith Warfield, J.D., Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Words do not matter. The meanings do. Words are understood in the context in which they are spoken, the tone which is used, the cultural interpretation added, and bias for/against the individual. With all these factors mixed, our personalized meaning of the words is ready. Words are actually a cocktail.

Two words which have always fascinated me are ‘exploitation’ and ‘love’. While the dictionary says exploitation of resources is positive and should be done, the same dictionary says that exploitation of labor is negative and should not be done. Is labor not a resource?

Love is such a glorified word since the languages began that I am scared of using it even in close relationships. Is humanity not basically selfish and incapable of love, the idealized love, we always talk about? I prefer to use the word ‘care’; it does not create unrealistic expectations. The background which the word ‘love’ carries makes me feel that only a spiritually advanced person has the capacity to love. Ordinary mortals like me don’t. What ordinary mortals do is only an exchange of emotional energy, a business. Maybe when you develop the capacity to truly love, you cannot restrict it to family and close relationships. You will be in love with everything around. You will become a Rumi, a Kabir or a Mother Teresa.

Do words wear the veil of illusions or do we human beings add the veils to them? Words only convey approximate meanings. No wonder lawyers have to work so hard at them. After the lawyer has worked for long hours on refining the language, the opposing lawyer finds a loophole to give a totally different meaning to the same words.

Under such a background, do words matter? To me, they don’t. To me what matters is the meaning hidden behind them, the intentions, the feelings, the emotions, the tones and overtones, the vibrations that they carry. To me what matters is the non-verbal part, the honesty which you can see only in the eyes, the genuineness which you can feel only in the smile, the coldness or warmth which you feel in the vibes that they carry, the underpinnings and overtones which tell more about the sincerity than the words themselves.

The more we clear ourselves of negative energy, the more sensitive we become to the subtleties behind the words.  We develop maybe a seventh sense of reading the intentions, listening to the unspoken messages, smelling the vibrations, tasting the warmth or the coldness behind and feeling the touch of the soul (or soullessness) of the entire communication.

Then only can we create our own reality integrating the words with the environment and comprehending the essence of not just the words but the integrated communication.

If my words do not make any sense to you, please sense what is between the lines, between the words, between the alphabets…..

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Dr. Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant and specializes in Personal Branding with a holistic touch. He is based in New Delhi, India. His philosophy is, “Take charge of your life and your brand.” To know more about him, click here: http://www.dramitnagpal.co.in/p/about-us.html

Copyright © 2011 – Dr Amit Nagpal. All rights reserved

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Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

A Co-Creation Allegory

Imagine you are part of a beautiful moving picture. The picture flows. The story line flows. One scene moves flawlessly into another, and you move with it. You are totally immersed in the flow.

Then suddenly, you bump into a rock or tree or mountain and experience pain. You bump into a monster and experience fear. Your mind wants to understand the pain and fear because you want to control it and stop it. Your mind moves outside the flow and becomes an observer. Your mind has now divided what was once just flow into:

• Flow, and
• You as observer of the flow.

You have eaten of the Tree of Knowledge and been cast out of the Garden of Eden. Your mind has stopped the moving picture at a single frame so you can analyze it, dissect it, understand it, and control it.

Science does this very well. So does orthodox religion. However, each of these is only a single limited understanding within the confines of the single frame they have stopped.

Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

If everything is a dynamic flow of energy, then each one of us is a minuscule part of that energy, all flowing and connected. Rocks are energy. Trees are energy. Cockroaches are energy. Words are energy.

Our minds can artificially stop the flow to try to understand and control it, but all our minds can truly understand is that one single frame on which we are focusing at a particular moment in time. This is understanding of a sort, but it is only partial understanding. Depending on where we stop the moving film and which frame we look at, the perception, dissection and analysis differ. When our minds hold onto any one single frame, any one set of words or symbols as Truth, we remain divided and separated from the energetic flow. When we allow the energy to flow through us, we tune into all that is and become magnificent co-creators of something much larger than any one of us individually.

To know is to know that we don’t know. We can only co-create.

When we shift our beliefs that words say something about an external reality to beliefs that words, for sure, say something about our perceptions of an external reality, we can choose to shift our perceptions to something that works better for both us and everything around us. We all then return to the dynamic energy flow of the Garden of Eden as conscious co-creators.

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Janet Smith Warfield works with wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information about Janet, go to www.janetsmithwarfield.com; www.wordsculpturespublishing.com; www.wordsculptures.com.

Copyright © 2011 – Janet Smith Warfield. All rights reserved.