Two Perspectives

Two Perspectives on Gratitude as a Tool for Transformation

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Was I always grateful? No, definitely not.

Yet I would say the most important lesson I have learned in my life is gratitude. The more grateful I became, the more blessings the Universe bestowed upon me. It has been a long journey though.

I had more complaints and less gratitude for almost 25 years of my life. I felt I always got less than what I gave. So naturally, I deserved to receive gratitude, not express it. The Chicken Soup for the Soul series initially inspired me to give thank you notes and express gratitude wholeheartedly (around 1998). While the complaining attitude was clouding my mind, gratitude helped me find clarity and fill positive energy in the mind.

The more grateful I became, the more my life began overflowing with beautiful souls. And on thanksgiving this year, I was able to gather strength to even express gratitude to the relationships which have been lessons rather than blessings. The people who had rather rubbed me like sandpaper, also deserved my gratitude, since they had made me grow and evolve. I also realized it’s good to give people a benefit of doubt. In fact practically speaking, giving benefit of doubt to people, gives you also peace of mind.

If you still have doubts, then I would speak the language of science. Gratitude releases the negative energy from the mind. When there is no negative energy (grudges, guilt, suppressed anger and so on), it is easier to meditate and find that peace or desired results. In your own interest forgive and bury the past. Wallace D Wattles rightly says, “The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore, it tends to become the best.”

In fact these lessons helped me find peace, and meditation helped me find perfect peace. Perfect peace led to regaining my lost creativity and finding clarity, purpose and joy. Beautiful souls walked in, unexpected events started happening, surprises started becoming a norm, and life became wonderfully worth living.

Let me end with a note of gratitude,

“Some inspiration comes from my inspiration (muse),

Some inspiration comes from the divine.

Some inspiration comes from my friends,

There is nothing I can claim to be mine.”

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Dr Amit Nagpal is Chief Inspirational Storyteller at AL Services. He is a Social Media Influencer,  Author, Speaker/Trainer & Coach. To know more, visit www.dramitnagpal.com. (His special interest and expertise lies in inspirational storytelling, anecdotes and visual storytelling)

AL Services offers content development/story writing, consulting, training and other services in the area of brand storytelling. To know more, write to amit@dramitnagpal.com.

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Tears dampen my cheek

washing the pain from my Soul.

Refreshing shower.

After 21 years of marriage and three children, my husband abandoned me for another woman.

I had been a wonderful wife. I had washed the family clothes, cleaned the family home, baked homemade bread, cared for our yard and organic garden, joined my husband on his sailing excursions and trips to Maine, watched football games with him, entertained his friends, played bridge with him, sung our children to sleep, read them stories, played games with them. He said we had the perfect marriage.

Yet he abandoned me and our children to rut after another woman.

My whole world turned upside down. What had I done wrong?

I lost my trust in people. I lost my trust in the social systems that had supported my family over centuries. I was hurting, my children were hurting, and there was little I could do to make anything better.

I sobbed alone at night for hours. My heart shattered wide open and split into millions of pieces.

One of our sons went from straight A’s to Straight F’s in a single year, got hooked on drugs, and became involved in physical violence and arrests. I was waking up in the middle of the night with such deep rage that it felt as if my guts were being ripped from my belly. But for emotional and financial support from my parents, I might well have bought a gun and murdered both my husband and his mistress.

How can one be grateful for such a life-shattering experience?

I learned I was a survivor and spiritual warrior. Being used by this man as a convenient housekeeper, babysitter, and sex object was not the life I was intended to live.

At age 20, becoming a lawyer had never been part of my vision. At age 40, I needed to go to law school to learn how to use words and the patriarchal system to protect myself against words and the patriarchal system. I graduated cum laude and practiced law for 22 years. On more than one occasion, bullies, incompetents, and dysfunctional politicians disintegrated and disappeared as I presented relevant facts and arguments to support a dynamic, all-inclusive, co-creative community.

I learned how to think for myself and take care of myself. I became a free woman. I am beholden to no one other than the Source I have chosen to believe in, myself, and those humans who are accountable and conscious enough to deserve my gifts and my love.

I’ve experienced many dark nights of the Soul, but I’ve learned to dance with words and dance with wisdom. I’ve even learned to dance with functional, respectful, appreciative men.

Here’s a short video on gratitude you may find useful:

Gratitude

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. To learn more, go to www.wordsculptures.com,  www.janetsmithwarfield.com, and www.wordsculpturespublishing.com.

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Two Perspectives on Forgiveness as a Tool for Transformation

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Forgiveness gives peace and unburdens the heart and soul.

No, it’s not easy to forgive at times, nor will forgiving always help. It may be easy to forgive our juniors but it may be difficult to forgive parents, teachers, doctors, superiors because we expect them to be more mature. We expect some people and professions to be perfect, but no one is perfect. Grudges which result from lack of forgiveness can be slow poison.

Why and when should we forgive?

Forgive in your own interest

We should forgive simply because we and the wrongdoer both deserve to be forgiven. When we forgive, we lessen the burden on ourselves. If we don’t forgive ourselves for our past mistakes, we’ll carry guilt throughout our lives.

Once a lady who was having severe knee pain went to a sage and complained about her sister and how she had been seriously harmed because of her. The sage asked her to forgive and remove the grudges from her mind. She told the sage that if the sage were in her position, he, too, would not have been able to forgive her, so serious was the harm and hurt caused. The sage had to make lot of effort to convince her that by keeping grudges and not forgiving her sister she was harming herself. Finally, she was able to forgive her sister and as soon as she forgave, her knee pain started disappearing.

Forgive because we are human

Human beings will always make mistakes and sometimes lose control over themselves. Understanding this human vulnerability helps us forgive. When we set an example of being forgiving, we, too, are forgiven for our mistakes.

While reading Lord Buddha’s story, it was interesting to note that his cousin was jealous of Buddha’s enlightenment. He even made an attempt to kill the Buddha, but Lord Buddha continued to be compassionate towards the cousin. Remember, people are not really jealous of your success; they are rather frustrated with their own failures.

Take your time in forgiving. If we keep forgiving easily, people may continue repeating the mistake. Sometimes it’s good to take time in forgiving, so the person can realize the mistake and render an apology.

When not to forgive?

Though in personal life, it is better to forgive at some point of time, it is a different game at the workplace.

Forgiveness at the workplace

My ex-boss Brigadier C. Mukesh (retired from Indian Army) once told me, “If I have 5,000 people in my team and I forgive 5,000 mistakes (one each), it may cause drastic damage.” Easy forgiveness at the workplace can make people less alert (and professional) and team members may start taking their jobs lightly.

Conclusion

In case of small matters and mistakes, forgive and move on. Sometimes I say it with humour, “Forgive, for your own sake.” In case of complex matters, listen to your inner voice and decide.

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 Dr Amit Nagpal is Chief Inspirational Storyteller and Mega Success Coach. He is based in New Delhi, India and specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is, “Enlarge as a Human Being, Excel as a Social Media Being, and Evolve as a Personal Brand.” To learn more about Dr Nagpal, visit www.dramitnagpal.com. Contact for personal branding/social media speaking/training/coaching. If you have doubts about the power of storytelling on social media, connect with Dr Nagpal, on Linkedin or Twitter and see for yourself.

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

Why Forgive?

Certainly not because somebody tells you to. That’s the worst possible reason. You won’t mean it and you won’t follow through.

You forgive because it benefits you. It gives you permission to move on with your life and stop giving free rent in your head to people who have hurt you. Why would you want to reward and empower those people by allowing their hurtful conduct to keep repeating itself in your mind? Take your power back by focusing on what you want to do with your life.

Who to Forgive?

Forgive yourself. You did the best you could with the resources you had.

Forgive those who have hurt you so you can take your power back and move on with your own life. To forgive does not mean to forget. If you forget, you haven’t learned the lessons you were intended to learn. If you forget, you won’t change your own conduct – the conduct which contributed to the hurt you experienced.

It is not your job to forcefully change other people’s hurtful conduct or pressure them to beg for your forgiveness. That puts you into self-righteousness. They need to forgive for themselves, if and when they are ready and able. It is your job to protect yourself from their hurtful conduct by telling them how you feel, asking them to stop, and asking them to start doing things differently. If they can’t or won’t, you may have to remove yourself from the relationship or ask them to remove themselves from your presence. In the process, you empower both yourself and them.

A Powerful Video on Forgiveness

This video says it all. Have a box of tissues ready.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv50xrsFNdU

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. To learn more, go to www.wordsculptures.com,  www.janetsmithwarfield.com, and www.wordsculpturespublishing.com.

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Two Perspectives on Journaling as a Tool for Transformation

Dr. Amit Nagpal, New Delhi, India, and

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield, Florida, USA

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Dr. Amit Nagpal’s Perspective

Journaling is one of the best tools for personal transformation. Let us take a look at how to do journaling for personal growth and transformation purposes. Primarily it can be divided into three categories, viz.

• Tool for self-reflection
• Tool for release of anger
• Journaling as a filter

Tool for self-reflection

Journaling is primarily a tool for self-reflection. Have you ever reflected upon what are your three core values? Once we decide our three core values, we can do a self-reflection every week, “Am I living according to my values? What are the areas I need to improve? What mistakes did I make in these areas?” as part of the journaling process. You can monitor your own growth by reading what you wrote three months back or a year back and compare your current state.

Tool for release of anger

When you are feeling very angry-you have two options, viz.

• Write it out and then tear the pages
• Write it and keep it to monitor your own progress.

What is written in extreme anger should be destroyed as it can be dangerous if it reaches the wrong person by mistake.

Journaling as a filter

Creative people often have phases of creativity blasts and phases of dryness (of ideas). When you are inspired and are flooded with ideas, the journal becomes your filter too. Write everything in the journal before posting on social media. Double check whether it is worth posting and aligned with your three core values (from focus/personal branding perspective). Double check the errors, if you are developing yourself as a professional author or blogger.

Sometimes when you read your own stuff after six months or a year, you feel like laughing at your stupidities or your raw language at that point of time. So journaling can be a source of entertainment too at times.

The trouble of today is the joke of tomorrow.

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Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant & Deepest Passion Coach. He is based in New Delhi, India and specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is, “Enlarge as a Human Being, Excel as a Social Media Being and Evolve as a Personal Brand”

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield’s Perspective

For the YouTube video, please click here:    Journaling

If you prefer a quick read, please continue below.

Benefits:

• Clarity
• Understanding
• Inner Peace
• Healing
• Increased Self-Esteem
• Joy
• Freedom
  

What You Need:

• Pen or pencil
• Journal or pad of paper
• One hour of uninterrupted time
• Quiet surroundings
• An open mind

Guidelines:

• Don’t censor your thoughts! (I can’t stress this enough.)
• Notice your thoughts.
• Allow your thoughts to flow wherever they want to go.
• Write everything down on your paper
• Just watch what comes through.

Personal Safety:

• What you write is for your eyes alone.
• Feel free to shred what you’ve written at any time.

Don’t be Surprised if:

• You don’t know what to write about. (Just sit in your “not knowing” until thoughts show up.)
• Unexpected emotions suddenly surface. (If these appear, just notice them, and when you are ready, return to your journaling. You may want to use them as a starting point for a new thread of writing.)

Allow Yourself to:

• Misspell words
• Use the wrong word
• Use wrong grammar
• Be judgmental
• Pour out your rage
• Look at your fear
• Grieve

My personal experience with journaling is that I start out struggling with a problem, meander along twisting, winding paths, jump to a seemingly unrelated train of thought that just won’t leave me alone, and end up with new insights and new ideas for moving forward.

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information, see wordsculptures.com, janetsmithwarfield.com, and wordsculpturespublishing.com.

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