Questions
2009
Dear Ms. Warfield,
I live in Boquete with my husband and little boy, and I came across an email about your work.
Some years ago I had an insight that is very difficult to describe… the idea that in situations… in ALL situations in life, if only we would ask the right question (to ourselves or to the other(s)), this would be the key to successful living, and even to spiritual growth.
The best way I can relate this idea is to use your own described situation from your book… the one where you asked the fighting boys questions instead of scolding or lecturing.
It takes practice, especially if one is rooted in a faulty foundation, insecurities, and anger. But I believe that the practice of asking the right questions works. And I don’t think it is unlike what you describe.
Yours, Elizabeth Slagle
Elizabeth Slagle has a blog at http://slaglesatlarge.blogspot.com/ – all about her family’s Panama adventure.
LOL! Questions are good. The right questions are even better.
One of my struggles in writing Shift has been how to communicate my experiences and what I know without sounding authoritarian. This is not about following rules. This is about personal freedom.
Over lots of years, I’ve learned techniques that work. One of those techniques is questions. Another is telling stories. A third is dialog. A fourth is first person singular. A fifth is poetry, particularly haiku. A sixth is thesis and antithesis. A seventh is paradox or unusual juxtapositions of words. The latter jolts people out of their conditioned linear thinking. Divisive, linear words simply cannot communicate wholistic understanding.
If you look at the linguistic techniques great philosophers and spiritual leaders used, the best of them used one or more of the above techniques.
- Socrates used questions
- Plato used dialog
- Jesus used parables or stories
- Zen masters use koans and haiku
- The Buddha used statements such as “I am aware.”
- Kahlil Gibran used poetry
- Hermann Hesse used novels
- Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and Friedrich Nietzsche used thesis and antithesis.
Current spiritual writers also use these techniques:
- Neale Donald Walsh uses dialog
- Eckhart Tolle uses dialog
- Elizabeth Gilbert uses stories and first person singular
- Janet and Chris Attwood use stories
- Esther Hicks/Abraham use dialog and questions
- Stuart Wilde uses stories and first person singular
- Dr. Wayne Dyer uses paradox
But getting back to the subject of questions, how do we know when we’re asking the right question and when we’re asking the wrong question? There’s a very simple answer. When you’re asking the right question, you’re putting the power to answer in your own hands, not in the hands of somebody else.
For example, you can ask, “Why is she always late?” It’s a question that puts the power for answering in the hands of somebody else. Maybe she will answer. Maybe she won’t. Maybe she doesn’t even know the answer. Maybe it’s conditioned behavior. Who knows.
But when instead you ask, “If she’s late again, how am I going to respond? you put the power back in your own hands.
Warm regards,
Janet
Janet Smith Warfield
Ordinary words, extraordinary insights
Author of Shift: Change Your Words, Change Your World
AMAZON BEST SELLER
WINNER: 2008 Next Generation Indie Book Award for Best New Age Non-Fiction
http://word-sculptures.com
WINNER: 2008 COVR Best Website Award
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